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    MERRYJAYNE1978   13,661
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Your weight isn't stopping your light from shining- YOU ARE


Thursday, September 02, 2010

This blog was inspired by a comment left by one of my Spark buddies.

We all know what makes us tick, what our dreams, goals and ambitions for us as an individual are. Not as a mother or father, not as a spouse, not as a lover, not as a daughter or son, or in our professional title, but as a person. We all start out with the best of intentions, full of promise and possibility, but quite often, somewhere along the road our train goes off the track. We focus on our partners, what they need, what they're going through, how to be their backbone and push them to the next level. We focus on our children and pour every bit of the best of who we are into them. We focus on our work and how to reach that level of success that will allow us to look back and say "I made it". We focus on the neighborhood gossip and what they might be saying about us behind our backs. We focus on anything and everything, but who we are and who we wanted to be. Is it really any wonder that we ended up here? Wherever your "here" is, whether its being over weight, over stressed, under appreciated or flat out over whelmed, we all got here the same way. Not taking the time to take care of ourselves. Putting ourselves last on the list of priorities. Taking less than we deserve and giving until we have nothing left to give.

If there is one thing I've learned, not only on this weight loss journey, but in life in general, its that you cannot live for other people. You can't live for your parents, you can't live for your friends, you can't live for your partner, you can't live for your children. You need to live for you. Find your joy and find what makes your spirit sing and live for you. Stop using other people's expectations as the measuring stick by which you gauge your accomplishments and your worth. That old adage is true: You can't please all of the people all the time. Please YOURSELF. If you fill your spirit with love and acceptance for YOURSELF, that love will spill over to your friends and loved ones. You cannot give away what you don't have. You can't give your friends support and encouragement if you don't know how to look at yourself and say "You did the damn thing, good job". You can't upgrade your partner to first class if you are sitting in economy. You can't give your children the gift of being secure with who they are, if you are not secure with who YOU are.

Where does this tie into weight loss? For me, a big part of my journey was and remains about acceptance. See, before I lost a pound I had to learn to accept myself as is, right there in that moment. Because if I didn't love me at 223 pounds (yes, I said 223) then I wouldn't love me at 180, or 150 or 120. If I couldn't look at myself and KNOW that I was beautifully, gloriously, and divinely made it wouldn't matter if I were a size 22 or a size 6, I would STILL be in the same place. Living to fulfill the expectations of others. Hoping that THEIR praise, THEIR thankfulness, and THEIR acceptance would fill up the empty space in my spirit. And when I fell short, letting THEIR disappointment, THEIR hurtful words, THEIR judgments of who I am determine MY worth. I had to walk over to a FULL length mirror, buck booty naked (no it was not a good look lol) and say "I accept myself for who I am, flaws and all. I love me, I have worth, I have beauty and I am going to say it until I believe it." And it took months but eventually, I believed it. And I was STILL, as my Big Mama would say, "wide as all outside". It wasn't about the scale, or my clothes, or the expectations of society or friends or loved ones. It wasn't about my finances, or my job. It wasn't about Ethan...it was about ME. ME ME ME ME. Once I loved every bit of me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, THEN I could move forth and change. I didn't have to "love" the dimples in my butt, the rolls on my stomach or the cellulite on my thighs but I had to accept they were there and love me with them to insure I would love me without them.

And the lesson in all this is- nothing and no one is stopping you from shining RIGHT NOW but you. I said NOW. Not at your goal weight, not twenty pounds from now, or when you run your first 5k, or when you fit into those size whatever jeans....SHINE RIGHT NOW. Whether you are size 28 or a size 2. Go and grab your diva moment. So many of you are sitting here, waiting until you reach some magical milestone to reward yourself....that's a good motivator for the future, but what are you doing to celebrate, embrace and love yourself RIGHT NOW? Go buy that freakum dress RIGHT NOW, put it on and KNOW that you are fierce, fabulous and can't nobody tell you nothing because you KNOW that you are the ish. Go do something you enjoy- be it the ballet, or paint ball or dancing...go do something to make you feel alive and renewed RIGHT NOW.

Your life is now not in ten, twenty or a hundred pounds. Its NOW. Accept yourself now. Love and celebrate yourself now. Honor yourself RIGHT NOW. Nothing and no one is stopping you from blinding the world with your shine, but you. No one is saying you can't make improvements...but there is a difference, a HUGE difference in body image and self image. Losing weight can only improve your body image. I will never be fake with y'all. I would be lying if I said I didn't like my body a hell of a lot more now than I did 60 plus pounds ago. But I would also be lying if I told you guys that losing that weight is what gave me my confidence, my joy, my swag if you will. My body is the temple that houses my spirit, but my spirit has been shining brightly and beautifully for a long time now and my body is just starting to catch up. Do not turn off your light while you are constructing your temple. SHINE RIGHT NOW. Your light is a beautiful thing. Honor it. Celebrate it. Love it and let it shine.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MINERVA25 10/9/2010 1:08PM

    Iwas really going through some emotional stuff in my life right now, and This Blog really open me up, now ita my time to shine since everyone has already have there's. Thanks for the motivation it was greatly needed.

Thanks

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IN102WIN 10/7/2010 12:36PM

    Thanks this blog was great!! emoticon

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LISEMARLENE 9/21/2010 9:15AM

    Wonderful. Thanks for your blog. It is very true.

emoticon

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NATKITA 9/18/2010 6:20PM

    emoticon emoticon and AMEN!

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BUTAPECANPR 9/15/2010 6:51PM

    emoticon

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NOMOEXCUSES13 9/10/2010 5:18PM

    OMG....Thanks for this blog.....You are so right...maybe this is why I keep stopping myself along the journey.....when I dont get validation from those around me I give up....but I need to start validating myself......WOW...this blog was right on time.... I copied it so I could carry it with me....I needed this today...thank you my sister in weight loss emoticon

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NOMOEXCUSES13 9/10/2010 5:18PM

    OMG....Thanks for this blog.....You are so right...maybe this is why I keep stopping myself along the journey.....when I dont get validation from those around me I give up....but I need to start validating myself......WOW...this blog was right on time.... I copied it so I could carry it with me....I needed this today...thank you my sister in weight loss emoticon

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REDSUN1970 9/8/2010 2:14PM

    Wow, THANK YOU! I needed to read this so bad today - you have perfect timing. I was fixated on self worth this morning and how to build it up. Your message is just what I needed. I'm going to print it out and save it!

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BUTAPECANPR 9/5/2010 8:12PM

    Oh Yeah I MADE IT!!!

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MISTYMAYHEM1 9/4/2010 12:50PM

    Girl this was so beautiful. Told me some truth I needed to hear. Your light is bright and blinding and I thank you for sharing it with the rest of us while reminding us to honor and cherish our own. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSTFOXXY 9/3/2010 12:42PM

    This is a great blog. You are so right, we always want to wait for the magical moment not realizing that we create those moments. Thank you for reminding us that we control that light and we should let it shine.

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RUNSHANBUN 9/3/2010 12:23PM

    I don't know what to say...except that all the people in your life need to surround themselves with you because you are absolutely a fantastic person!!! That was the nicest thing I have read in a long time, I was very touched because I can totally identify with it. I am a size 2/4 and I still can't look in the mirrior and see myself as fabulous. You made me realize that my goals aren't worth squat if I can't be happy with the person I am at this very moment. I think future me will be even more proud of the success if I can see the value in who I am today.
Thanks so much for sharing and emoticon

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RUBIEAGLE 9/3/2010 10:45AM

    Very good! Will be putting it in my Spark notebook!

Comment edited on: 9/3/2010 10:51:22 AM

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STEVO5O 9/3/2010 10:34AM

    Great blog Rochelle! I don't know if you're old enough to remember Ricky Nelson...he was a singer in the late 50's through the early seventies. He was famous for a song called Garden Party. The words of the chorus of this song fit your blog perfectly..."But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself."

Too many times we worry about everyone and everything else but us. It took me a long time to learn it's okay to be selfish when it comes to my health. I'm happy you discovered this while you're still young. Thanks for writing this Rochelle.

stevo5o

Comment edited on: 9/3/2010 10:35:18 AM

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GOODGETNBETR 9/3/2010 1:32AM

    Can a guy have a "diva moment?" Great blog and glad you're outside caught up with your inside. The world needs more folks who are beautiful on the inside. emoticon

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B-LYNN1ST 9/2/2010 10:22PM

    I LOVE THIS BLOG.. EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ IT.. I NEED TO E MAIL THIS OUT TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.. GIRL, I AM IN ALL CAPS BECAUE OF THIS.. YOU TOUCHED ME RIGHT HERE... emoticon AND I JUST WRAPPED MYSELF UP IN MY ARMS AND GAVE MYSELF ONE HELL OF A HUG FROM YOU. BECAUSE THIS BLOG FELT LIKE A HUGE HUG OF TRUTH, AND A HUGE BLOG OF LOVE, NOTHING BUT LOVE, AND WHAT YOU SHARED IN THIS BLOG WAS NOTHING BUT THE PRAISE IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU HAVE FOR GOD AND YOUR FELLOW SISTER OR BROTHER.. TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. VOICING IT IN WRITING, AND GETTING IT OUT HERE FOR ALL OF US TO SEE. GIRL! YOU HIT IT DEAD ON THE HEAD.. YOU HIT THE MESS OUT OF THAT NAIL HEAD, AND YOU NAILED IT.. YOU NAILED IT SHUT. EVERYTHING WE SPARKERS FEEL. YOU NAILED IT, AND I THANK YOU, AND I LOVE YOU FOR NAILING IT THE WAY YOU DID..

GOD BLESS YOU..
LYNN

Comment edited on: 9/2/2010 10:24:56 PM

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BABY_GIRL69 9/2/2010 6:12PM

    Thanks for sharing this blog with us! You totally ROCK!! God bless & take care! Dee

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BOGUSANNIE 9/2/2010 3:35PM

    GREAT ENTRY!!!!
Thanks for Sharing and kicking us all in the butt!!!

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DREAMINGSOUL 9/2/2010 3:27PM

    Thank you. This is a wonderful post and a great reminder. I need to work on making myself shine!

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TENYAG 9/2/2010 3:07PM

    Wow! This makes me want to go home dance around in my skivvies and sing at the top of my lungs! Unfortunatly, I am at work for a few more hours... Very motivating, inspirational, and so true.

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NIKINIK11 9/2/2010 2:58PM

    This post almost made me cry, in a good way. Thanks for sharing with everyone. emoticon

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XFANFICX 9/2/2010 2:55PM

    Wonderful! Exactly what I'm striving for myself emoticon

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