I woke up this morning and decided to climb onto the scale all bleary-eyed, just to see if I'd lost anything(and I was betting I hadn't). I stepped off the scale in shock, rubbed my eyes to clear them and stepped back on. It was true, I've lost over 30lbs since my journey began.
While it made me happy, I realized I hardly ever step on the scale anymore. It used to be that I didn't get on the scale because I was afraid of what I'd see--the same numbers as always, or worse, climbing numbers. Now I don't get on the scale very much because I just don't care. I know I'm working at my goal, and I know I'll get there when I get there. I'm doing the best I can right now, and a number isn't going to change that.
At first this was all about losing weight, and some vague things about being healthy. I didn't quite define what I meant by healthy, but in my head healthy was always an image of a thin me. Now it's not. I no longer visualize myself thin when I visualize what I mean by healthy, I don't see myself at all, I see what's in front of me.
I see myself hiking with my hubby and daughter. I see us camping. I see the river ahead of me as I go white water rafting for the first time. I see a wall of rock climbing high into the sky above me--I want to go rock climbing. I see what seems to be an endless path in front of me as I'm running my first marathon, but then...I see the finish line. I see my grandkids, and my great grandkids. I see the many years ahead, all the things I have to look forward to.
Yeah, I see all that in my future and I'm only 26. Thin? Yeah, that sounds nice. Healthy, active, and a spritely old fart? That's what I'm talking about. I want to be one of those crazy old ladies that's up at the crack of dawn every morning to go for a run. I want to enjoy the sunrise and the smell of morning dew even when I'm old. I have no desire to be bedbound and depressed. Who does want that?
Everytime I get on the elliptical or go for a walk or even lift my daughter (that troublesome little thirteen pound weight that's always with me. lol) I see THAT future. I've finally defined healthy, and it has nothing to do with the size of my jeans.
Edit: Because so many people seem to be interested in health goals instead of weight goals, I've now formed a team that focus's on just that. None of our challenges will have anything to do with the number on the scale. Thank all of you for sparking me to do this!