Wednesday, September 01, 2010
That what I think i'm doing as a fat woman... time. As if i'm behind bars waiting for my martyrdom to be over. Yet i'm the only one able to get me out of this for good behaviour! I went up for parole quite a few times in my life but was never able to impress the board...
Now as time goes by, the time is harder and harder to do. More and more challenges are thrown my way.
Here's a list of all the ailments i have to face everyday:
- I can't sit cross legged on the floor anymore (indian like seating) as my knees can't be twisted that way anymore; this means i can't read to my kids as they sit in the "hole" as i'd say
- It's more and more difficult for me to walk up some stairs. And not with the baby in my arms, i get upstairs with burning thighs, gasping for air
- I often have joint pains, especially in my knees. It is not really bad yet but it will get worst if i don't do something
- There is not a day that goes by without me complaining of pain somewhere on my body, wether it being in my neck, in my arms, in my hips, in my back. Heck i even feel sore in my jaw when i eat too much crunchy things!
- I have no more energy for sex anymore (sorry TMI). The energy is just not there anymore. And often times, my stomach is too full for me to even want to move
- I am always tired. I have no energy to do anything. When i have an activity planned and do it, i often come home exhausted and just lay there on the couch
- My blood sugar started slowly going up. To the point where i'm pretty sure i'm either pre-diabetic or even full on diabetic. That is quite scary. I'm only 32 and have 2 kids to take care of. I can't do this if i'm DEAD
- I have bunions on my feet. They are very sore to start with but with the 80-90 pound pressure i put on them everyday as i walk sure isn't helping
-Unfortunately, this i can't change, but i do have hanging skin already. Especially on my arms. I can only imagine what it'll be like after i lose the weight... but i'm willing to risk it!
- Raising up from a kneeled down or sitting on the floor position has become really hard lately. It takes me great effort to gather up the energy to get up...
- If i sit for too long, getting up is also a struggle. My hips get really sore.
The list could go on and on i'm sure. I AM ONLY 32 FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW... If things don't change, i will be in a wheelchair by the time i'm 45... Heck i could even be dead by that time...
I will write these things down in my IPhone (it's always on me) and look at them every time i want to make a bad choice. Remind myself of how aweful this bad choice is/has/will keep me feeling that way if i make it.
Anyways, it's getting late and i have to get to my 15 minute in front of the TV streak before i go to bed. Go strong ME!!! ;)