Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Motivation was tough today. I'm still really sore from yesterday's strength training and upping the resistance on the bike, but getting back on and riding again helped a little bit. Yoga and stretching with my exercise ball helped even more.
It feels really good getting back some of the fitness I had before my injury. I had gotten so out of shape that even taking stairs winded me, and I just didn't feel good at all. As much as I dislike the extra weight, I disliked that unhealthy, tired all the time feeling even more. That has never been me. It was so insidious that I think I just failed to realize how far down I had gone.
A hard part on the road back has been trying not to beat myself up for not doing something about all of this sooner. I have to remember that I was taking care of myself the best way that I knew how, and I honestly don't believe I could've handled the pressure of getting back in shape on top of the mental and emotional recovery. Yeah, to a degree, I turned to food for comfort. Not the healthiest coping mechanism, I know. But it kept me out of an asylum, and it kept me from doing a lot of things I know I would've regretted down the line.
I'll just get this out of the way once and be done with it. I'm coming up on the two year anniversary of nearly losing my life to an American bulldog and a pit bull that belonged to my neighbors. The attack happened without warning, one attacking from the front, one from behind. My femoral artery was nicked, and I had pretty severe nerve damage in the inner thigh and sciatic nerve. On the whole, I was lucky. I didn't need plastic surgery, and they weren't able to get me by the face or throat, even though they tried. The level of depression I went through was unreal, in part because of the wholly inadequate laws and response to what happened. The neighbors were basically "judgment proof". They had no assets to speak of, so I had to pay for everything myself, and they were even allowed to keep the dogs. I at least got the laws changed in my area so that will never happen again, but it was a huge fight, and it left me very drained.
I'm not looking for pity or anything like that. I just felt the need to share why it's so important to me to get my fitness back. It's the last thing left that I feel like was taken from me in this attack that I'll be able to recover. I'll never be able to roller derby skate or horseback ride again. The risk of re-injuring the artery is too great, but at least I can be in great shape, strong, healthy, and kick ass.
If anyone does feel like responding to this, I'm going to be very frank about one thing. I am not interested in hearing if you have a pit bull or an Ambull, how great they are, what a great dog owner you are, etc. Please have respect for what I've been through and don't try to use my experience as an opportunity to advocate for your breed of choice. It will fall on deaf ears, and I will delete any such comments without a second thought. Thanks.
Cardio: 22 Mins.
Yoga + Exercise Ball stretching: 30 Mins.
Total: 52 Mins.