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What keeps us from changing (or sustaining change)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sharing a few tips from psychology on what stands between us and the positive changes we seek to make in our lives. I apologize for the lack of enthusiasm (and reading with my eyes down), I posted this after a LONG day of work! I promise, I was enthusiastic inside :) Every time I do this, I learn more about how to be a better video blogger!
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  • KARIN1972
    Love your blogs! Keep them up!
    2571 days ago
    Great to "meet" you! You should come join us at the Spark Vlogger's team!

    Change. Ahhhhh yes. What I both hate and want most. I like this perspective. There ARE sometimes good reasons to not affect change, but "Fear" (my #1) is not one of them. Thanks for a great post!
    2577 days ago
    You are a very charismatic person even when tired, Your charm and intelligence shine through.
    2577 days ago
    emoticon blog! Read that list again. A lot of your concerns were how your change affects others. That's pretty powerful! It's funny to me (not funny haha) that we allow other people to have that much control over us. You aren't alone. I think we all do it to some degree. Your list just made me think about that. Thanks!
    2578 days ago
  • KARIN1972
    Thank you for your blog - I found it very interesting!

    What came to mind is that not only do we resist change in our lives but those around us do as well. For example, it may be that if we lose a lot of weight and/or change our lifestyle those closest to us can feel left out. This makes some uncomfortable and they can even subconsciously (or consciously) sabotage us. Mom pushing a piece of cake on you, boyfriends/husbands nagging that you spend more time at the gym then with them, roommates buying that pint of your favorite ice cream, etc. I recommend not only thinking about what obstacles we place in from of ourselves, but also taking an honest look at those around us.

    I think the most common obstacle that we put in front of ourselves is a deep negative 'self talk' that we cannot accomplish something, or the fear of failure. For some, I think it's easier to just let themselves fail and keep the status-quo rather than jumping into the spotlight of life and living out in the open. For others, the negative 'self talk' is so deeply rooted deep down inside they don't think they are worth the effort. Overcoming this takes a lot of honest self-reflection.

    Keep up the great blogging!
    2578 days ago
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    2579 days ago
    This blog really hit home, every time we chat, you live up to your name as I've said before. Your "con" list could have been written by me, which leads me to believe that they are fairly universal reasons why people have difficulty sustaining changes.

    Particularly familiar is the concern that your change will influence the people close to you. I used to go to P.F. Changs once a month with some girls at work and lately when I say no, I know that they are disappointed and I guess don't want to go without me, but really I wouldn't care. I don't want to impose my quest on others.

    I also live with my elderly mother and prepare meals for her. She is at a point in life where she isn't worried at all about what she eats, has a very picky appetite and I'm happy when she actually does eat enough to sustain her weight. So I have fairly much have to plan and prepare two choices for each meal. I don't mind but again I think sometimes she's disappointed that I don't join her in the "feast".

    Fear of failure goes without saying because I haven't been able to sustain any weight loss so far in my life. I can almost hear people saying "here we go again" when I begin my newest diet. But I've decided, I'm not wavering in my conviction now, but I do fear that I won't be able to keep myself motivated down the line.

    This is where you and the rest of my Sparkpeople friends hopefully will keep me challenged and motivated.

    Girl, I am loving your video blogs. Please keep them coming!
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    2579 days ago
    Thanks for persevering through your long day of work to post this. Now that is changing for good!
    2579 days ago
    Great Blog Entry! It's so true - you have to understand WHY you want something, and WHAT's been preventing you from changing before you stand much chance of making a positive change stick. Thanks for taking the effort to make the video and sharing this book and this information.
    2579 days ago
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