Monday, August 30, 2010
I love to pay attention to things as they occur in my life. To me there is no accident, especially when I tend to react intensely to an event that would otherwise be unincidental. Lately I cut off my coffee consumption, a product I used to soothe painfull emotions.
I have found myself indulging in french bread with butter (yummy!) and chocolate (equally yummy). I really have no issue with food, I have an issue with behaviour. When ever I catch myself in a somewhat compulsive behaviour, I stop and wonder: what's up girl? And often there is something bothering me and I am covering it up with food, expenses, thoughts, etc.
When I crave food, comfort foods that is, I know I am craving something that reaches alot deeper than my stomach. When I crave sweets I am really craving love. This year has been one for grieving. I dealt with much of it but some is left and is asking for my attention through chocolate's sweet tooth.
I truly believe that all the love I need is already there in my heart and in the divine surrounding me. I also believe that no one can love me as well as I can. Yet, it is difficult not to fall into the trap and start seeking love outside of myself. When I do that, I suffer and I start craving something, anything, to soothe the pain. The emtiness is unbearable, I want something to reconnect.
Fortunately, I have been tending my inner garden for a while and I recognize the signs before I get myself in trouble. I can make healthier choices and care for myself and meet my true needs that chocolate, although it is a delicious way to divert my attention, will never be able to.
This being said it is difficult to stay mindful of my true needs, it would be so easy to just give in. In the end though, I would not gain from it a bit. Every time I am able to be in alignment with my inner self, to overcome the pain appropriately I feel so rewarded. It is a small victory every time. When the next thing comes I know I am stronger and that I can address anything that is thrown my way.
Just sharing my thoughts in this blog generates joy, peace and a profound sense of being. As I have said before, my inner life is most precious to me. It is my sacred garden and it supports me always.
May your day be blessed with joy, peace and much light.