The interesting journey back to sanity.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Last week began a new approach in my weight loss efforts.

For as far back as I can recall, my usual program for losing weight and regaining health always became a monster in and of itself, and my obsession with what I allowed past my lips became a sort of illness far worse than my overeating. The two monsters (my OCD health-nut monster and my bingeing monster) behaved like playmates, taking turns torturing my mental and emotional state.

When I absorbed all of the amazing comments that everyone left on my Aug 10th blog, and meditated on what I could change to make this work, a new plan evolved.

The funny thing is, it's not really a "plan," per se. It's purely a journey back to sanity.

What classifies sane and insane, anyway? Here are my thoughts (this is my own personal assessment, I'm not judging anyone for whom these behaviors actually work):

-Telling myself I must be "good" 100% of the time.
-Eating Ezekiel products when I don't even LIKE them.
-For that matter, eating ANYTHING that makes me gag but that is on my daily menu b/c it's "healthy"
-Telling myself "no" even when I'm OBVIOUSLY starving/needing extra fuel, just b/c I'm trying to stick to my daily calorie goal.
-Turning down invitations because I'm afraid I'll be tempted/don't want to consume extra calories from drinking/food/etc.
-Eating the saaaaame thing every day because I already know the calorie content of each item.
-Completely avoiding pasta and whole wheat breads as though it will completely derail me.

-Making healthy versions of meals I enjoy.
-Buying whole wheat pasta and bread and controlling portions, rather than saying "NO" entirely to all carbs.
-Buying healthy cereal I enjoy, rather than boring myself to tears with oatmeal.
-NOT excluding ANY food groups.
-Saying YES to invitations, and controlling my alcohol intake to 2 servings.
-Not feeling guilty over eating a banana or apple just because they're 100+ calories.

I feel so much better this week. I don't find myself thinking as much about when my next meal is or obsessing over how many cals I've already consumed. I'm just happy recognizing that all my efforts are headed in the right direction (and I'm not going to freak out if I'm say, 100-200 calories over my daily goal). I'm happy that I'm picking foods that I actually LOOK FORWARD to eating, rather than punishing myself with meals that offer zero or even NEGATIVE pleasure.

I'm also not stepping on the scale every week anymore. I know that once a week isn't even that often, but my perspective is changing lately as I make progress in my running, and I'm pleased with the fact that I'm looking for the next race/distance to reach for rather than aiming for a 2lb loss/week.

I mean really.... scale numbers are boooooring, aren't they? I'd much prefer to measure miles than pounds.

What would you add to YOUR list of Sane/Insane behaviors?

I can't thank all of you enough for your fabulous input on my blogs. You girls are amazingly helpful and insightful.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can relate. It took me quite a few failed "diets" to realize that a constant obsession with food and the scale was not something I could keep up for more than a few months. I've been trying really hard to keep it low-key and relaxed this time around. I feel so much less stressed. Sure, it's going to take me a lot longer to get where I'm going than if I behaved perfectly...but, the flip side is that I'm actually going to get there this time rather than get frustrated and give up.

    2755 days ago
  • GAGEJ11
    Great blog :) I am a cereal whore and it took me a while to stop feeling guilty about eating it but I love it and it isn't like I was eating lucky charms and fruit loops everyday none of my cereals contain HFCS they aren't the best but they are what I like and to get okay with eating them I just started measuring them I used to eat a bowl a day if I didn't I felt lost haha and now I have weined myself off but still eat more than the average girl :) Anyways enough about me this is your blog :) and welcome back to sanity!!!
    2755 days ago
    I loved this! I giggled at some of your "insane" points because I do them too - like eating the same meals over and over because I already know how many calories are in them. HA!
    2755 days ago
    These insights are fantastic! I'm really the same way--the two "monsters" battling it out...ugh. I think all of the things on your "insane" and "sane" lists are totally legit and it's great that you've recognized them!

    Good luck starting your new plan--it sounds a lot more like a healthy lifestyle change than a diet, which is the point of all of this anyway. You are going to do great!
    2755 days ago
    Wonderful!!! I love your lists, and I TOTALLY agree with them. I think that it is so important to find a healthy livable balance when it comes to diet and exercise. You control them; they shouldn't control you. I think it's wonderful that you're working towards this balance.

    Here is one more that I would add to my personal Insane/Sane list -
    I am striking the words "good" and "bad" from my vocabulary in regards to the food I eat or the exercise I do/don't do. It's not, like, *immoral* to eat a cheeseburger or skip a workout, and I want to be mindful that even the language we use to describe it effects the way we think about it. So, when I mess up, I want to stop saying "I was so BAD!" like as if I were a disobedient little kid that hit the dog and poured paint all over the living room carpet or something.

    Anyway, great list. You can do this!!!
    2755 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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