Monday, August 30, 2010
So it has been a super long time since I have been here. I just saw that my last weigh in was about 2 years ago and I was at the lowest point that I actually reached. It makes me sad because I always told myself as I reached milestone weigh ins "I will never see this number again!" and here I have seen them and zipped right past them. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that hates how easy it is to get back to where you were after it was so hard to make it as far as you did. I guess I have been in denial and a little stressed and depressed. I need to get my head out of the sand and deal with my issues, they aren't going to go away on their own and apparently no one is going to do it for me.
One of my biggest issues is that I have a new job that stresses me out and I need to find a new way to deal with that stress. After lunch when I get stressed out I want to go to the vending machine... and I use the excuse that at least I'm getting a 3 musketeers bar and they are the" lesser of the chocolate evils." And then when I come home I am so grumpy I go right for the snacks. And then I decide that I really don't want the stress of having to think about dinner so let's just go out to eat. And then I am far too tired and stressed out thinking about tomorrow that the last thing I want to do is go for a walk or get on the treadmill. And then I decide to sit in front of the comptuer until it is far too late (like now...sigh.) and then I have to force myself out of bed to rush to get to work in the morning.
I realize that something has got to change, and right now quitting or finding a new job isn't an option, so I really have to find a way to cope with the hand I have been dealt, at least for now. So I guess this is just my breaking point (for lack of a better word I guess). And now hopefully I can begin to work on everything. I don't exactly know how I am going to do it, but at least I am in the process of thinking about it.
We have stocked the house with lot's of good for you foods and I have no excuse to go out to eat this week. We have nothing planned this week so I really have no reason to stay up this late again this week (we had company for dinner tonight and they left late, I wanted to do this earlier, but it was important to me to do this so I did make the choice to stay up late to get it done) And The house is cleaner than it usually is, so if we work on it just a little each night we shouldnt get overwhelmed. Those are my small changes for this week. I am going to try to check in here to my blog at least once a week or as needed.
Goals this week:
*** Cook dinner every night this week except Thursday - thats our weigh in night for TOPS and we all go out to eat together - yeeeeah, I know... but we gotta eat and who wants to eat *before* you weigh in??
*** Starting tomorrow, I will go to bed earlier. I will be IN bed at 10:30 and hopefully be asleep by 11.
*** I will pick up the house a little bit each evening before bed. Do a load of laundry, pick up the living room... just something to keep the progress we have made until we can continue next weekend.
So here I am standing at the begining. I might not be able to see the finish line, but for the first time in a very long time I am here, mentally present and accounted for. Let the games begin!