Saturday, August 28, 2010
I woke up Friday morning dreading getting on the scale knowing that I wasn't as careful food wise as I had been in the weeks before the wedding. I was eating when I was hungry and not always the things that I might have said were the best for me. I was totally surprised when I realized that I was down from where I was the last time I weighed myself before the wedding! I was super excited and realized that, at least for a while, probably the best thing for me is to eat the things I like, when I feel hungry. The key is stopping when I feel full. I also realized that if I lose a pound a week, by the time my one year wedding anniversary rolls around, I will be in a very healthy place, including a healthy BMI. That's even accounting for the fact that not all weeks will be perfect!
Since getting married, and well, I've lived an hour away from my previous doctor for over a year now, I decided to switch to a closer practice. In some ways, I also hoped that some of the problems the previous doctor found would go away. Sadly, the new one came up with more and I'm feeling it right now. My husband and I had some wine with our dinner tonight. At first, I fell right asleep, but when he came to bed later, he woke me up. I've been up since then with my heart going like crazy. I don't like this feeling! I've tried different breathing techniques, but nothing so far has helped. I decided to get up and stop tossing and turning and bothering the hubby. Needless to say, both doctors have really said that my problems have come from my weight. It's really tempting to say, "I'm going to drop 20 pounds in 4 weeks so the doctors will stop giving me a hard time and I can start feeling better." But I know that will just back fire! Although, at 1:30 AM, while my heart is beating and I can't sleep, it's tempting to want to think. If I lose a little bit at a time, I will feel better soon. And the more I lose and can keep off, the less I will hate going to the doctor. They always say they're not trying to embarrass you, but when I told him I knew what my BMI was and that I was working on it, I still get the lecture that I'm over weight and need to work on it and blah blah blah. I realize that I would probably be sleeping right now had I been able to realize that losing weight can be done slowly a while ago, but I didn't, so here I am. I hope I can sleep soon!