Friday, August 27, 2010
This is a series I do on my other blog. It is an honest confession of what I see when I look in the mirror. The reflection that I see is more often than not a distorted image of what is actually there. When I was at my heaviest, I couldn't see that weight when I looked in the mirror. I knew it was there, but unless I looked at a picture that was taken, I just didn't see it. I chose to ignore it and pretend that it wasn't there. When I looked in the mirror 6 months ago, what I saw reflected back to me was closer to the Emily 6 years ago, and about 70 lbs lighter, because that is what I chose to see. Today, I do think that my perception of the Girl in the Mirror is getting more accurate, but it still isn't as true to reality as I would like because when I look in the Mirror I now see the Fat Girl I once ignored. I don't always see the New Girl that is standing in front of me. As I progress into weights that I have not seen since jr high, this New Girl is a stranger to me, much like Fat Girl was at one point. I am glad to say that I CAN see New Girl standing there, and I can realize that she IS me, and I smile. A true, happy smile because all of my hard work, the endless miles I have put on my shoes, the untold amount of weights I have lifted... I am starting to see what they are doing to and for my body. I guess it just takes my brain a little longer to catch up to the progress.
So for today here is my entry:
Today I Looked in the Mirror...
...and HONESTLY thought I looked thin(ner). It wasn't a positive thought I was just telling myself because I WANTED to believe it. I saw my reflection and I saw the miles that I have walked, the weights I have lifted, the good fuel I have eaten, the cookies I have passed up... It was a good start to the day.