Thursday, August 19, 2010
I am getting frustrated with this weight loss journey. It used to be I could exercise and watch what I ate and the weight would come off. When I was overweight it was because I chose to be lazy and eat too much. Now I am trying to do everything right and it is not working.
I know everyone experiences plateaus and discouragement but why is this so hard! My pants all feel too tight. I feel bloated and horrible all the time. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm starting to feel out of control. Like this whole weight loss thing is not something I can control but sheer luck. I can eat right and exercise one week and lose 2 pounds, then do the same thing the next week only to gain. Stepping on the scale is like playing the roulette wheel - sheer luck, what will the number be this week that I have no control over.
I know I should continue to exercise and eat right to be healthy and feel good but the problem is - I don't feel good. I am sore all the time from working out and hate eating most of the food I am eating. I know people will tell me to find an exercise I like and food I like to eat but the truth is there is no exercise I will ever like so I just have to push myself to do it. I've tried many healthy recipes and not that I hate them but I miss and crave all my old fattening foods. I hate being the person that is always passing up the dessert or extra wine at a party. The one who has to order the plain grilled chicken and salad when everyone else is ordering wings and fries. I know I need to keep pushing through but it would be easier if I was seeing some results.