I quit. I'm so tired.
Tired of focusing on dieting, then failing, then trying to get on track again.
Tired of trying to find the energy to "pump myself up" for exercise.
Tired of WAITING until I get "there" to live my life and embrace the person I want to be. Like being thin will somehow change WHO I am.
I am a PRO at researching things to DEATH! I have acquired so much head knowledge, you'd think I'd be the fittest most healthy woman on the planet! Not so however. I get the information, I apply it for a while, then because I can't stick with it "perfectly", I get discouraged. Then I have to find the strength and motivation to pull myself back up again, dust myself off and push forward. Which I do remarkably well...until the next thing that comes along to knock me off track. I'm so tired of starting over...and over...and over....and over!!! Ahhhh!
It dawned on me last night that maybe I should just stop TRYING to diet, TRYING to lose weight, TRYING to be athletic, TRYING to not comfort myself with food, and instead just BE.
BE the me I see in the future.
DO the things I plan to do when I'm "there".
LIVE the way I want to live...as if I'm already "there"
SEE myself as the person I think I'll be "then".
TAKE CARE of myself.
EAT well and MOVE my body because it's so good for me and makes me feel so good! Because I WANT to, not just to lose weight.
I'm choosing today to see my life in a new way...and live it in MY "New Normal"! No more fighting this "thing" that haunts me incessantly...
1. I don't diet. I eat healthy and enough to get and keep my body at a healthy weight. No more figuring things out...I already know.
2. I am not afraid of my emotional eating at night because I KNOW I am tired and want to comfort myself. I have a great plan in place for my evenings. I don't comfort myself with food, but instead with peaceful things like a gentle stroll with my dog, a nice warm bath, soothing my body with lotions, curling up with my hubby for a movie or a show, going to bed early, reading a good book, etc...
3. I don't push myself too hard; but just enough. My fitness is going to improve over time if I just do it step by step. I don't push because I know that I will have more setbacks if I do. I have a strategic plan in place for each month so I know where I'm heading. I do fitness that I ENJOY and I do well at it.
4. I don't have to "pump myself up" because I'm not starting and stopping something. I am just living my new lifestyle. No more of that.
5. I live beautiful NOW. WHO I am is beautiful...not my size. I take time for my appearance and health.
6. I am who I am. I do things I enjoy. I am choosing to stop living in bondage whether it be to food or to dieting...I am going to live in freedom.
I guess it boils down to my motto for 2010...JUST DO IT and for today, I have peace in that.