My great realization...
Friday, August 13, 2010
I hate making decisions. I don't like to think about what I am giving up. When I was a kid I was told I was wrong for some inconsequential things .
Here is a funny story where i think the adults handled it incorrectly.
It was Halloween time and we took a bus to a pumpkin patch. My step mom told me to get the biggest pumpkin I could carry. i took that charge seriously . So I picked up and then rejected two pumpkins. When I found the perfect one that was big and a nice shape I took it with me.
The class then carved the pumpkins at school that afternoon with knives brought from home. My dad and step mom did not want me to carry a knife to school so I just helped my friends carve theirs. But, that meant that I had to carry that pumpkin home. It was about half the size of me. I was in 3rd grade and about 8.
So I struggled with that then the 4 or 5 blocks home. I stopped to rest and took quite a while walking home. When I got home my step mom told me off for not thinking about how I was going to get the thing home. Duh? she was the one that told me to get a big one. I would have said positive things to my kid and encouraged them and told them I had not thought that one through. But that is not how it played out.
This is one of the funnier stories. I realize as I thought of this how different my parenting style is from what I was raised with. I have made choices of the kind of mother I want to be. Early on in my mothering I read where someone I admired said that if you can say yes to something a child wants to do you should. It makes them feel more responsible for themselves. I have tried not to say no just because it is inconvenient and stuff like that. Tht is not to say that I don't try and talk to them about their responsibilties before the run off to friends houses.
Now I am doing leadership stuff in my life and I have to be willing to make a choice and take responsibility for that choice. Which I am. I just hate getting to the choice. But my parenting style is proof that I can and do change.