Today I'm taking stock. Sunday is another decade on this earth for me. I had planned on throwing myself a big birthday bash for months. Partly to celebrate and partly to help me feel this is a good thing…getting older.
Now I've decided on giving my party mid September. And I'm not accepting any presents. We'll have a display for the Make a Wish Foundation and a box for people's contributions in lieu of presents for me. Just the presence of, rather than presents from, my friends will be a nice enough gift.
My physical therapy is not progressing. One day I can barely move my foot and it just twitches and the next day I can painfully wiggle it a little, and then the process starts all over again. My mind is telling my foot and toes to move, but the response is not occurring -- very little movement, if at all. My foot looks all shriveled up and does not want to cooperate. I underestimated and was shocked at the damage I did, and thus, I am shocked at the consequences of my fall. I remember falling and saying, "Oh no, this cannot be happening. Just stay upright, just stay vertical, you won't get hurt as badly." Well, I stayed upright, but I was hurt very, very badly anyway.
In addition, my breastbone and muscles emanating out from that area, are hurting tremendously. I believe I hurt that area of my body in my desperate attempt to stay vertical during my fall. Only recently, in the past couple of weeks (it's been eight weeks since the accident) has this been a real problem. I believe it is hurting because I am using my upper body to move my rollaround all over my life's movements, the only way I can navigate.
Although I have the boot on instead of a cast, so I can now take showers, I still have been told NO weight bearing on that foot. So, instead of turning back in my $100/month rented apparatus, I will have to reup again. This means it's been $300 so far.
This is affecting my writing as well. I don't feel as inspired. In addition, I cannot attend any of my club functions nor attend church. I also am a hot air ballooning hobbiest, and I've already missed one big event and will miss another in Natchez in October. Because of the weather here in the South, there is a shorter window of opportunity for good flying. In Austin we practically flew year round. So this effectively means I am missing a whole season.
People come and go, only occasionally, to my apartment, and all are complaining about the beating-down sun and how hot it is. I love heat. It makes me feel alive! I miss the sunshine so much.
Just wanted to share this morning. I'll continue on my path toward recovery, but today it is hard, and Sunday will be harder.
Hope you are well,