Thursday, August 12, 2010
I am so frustrated right now. I've always been a slow runner. For my Air Force fitness test, I would run 1.5 miles in about 17:30. Yes, I realize this is ridiculously slow, but no matter what I did, I was never able to get faster. This was fine because I could do well enough on the other components of the fitness test that I still passed.
Now with the new standards, the minimum run time I must meet is 16:22. I fail to see how I will ever get there. It has been nearly six months since I had my baby, so I'm due to test in a couple of weeks. I've lost all the baby weight and have been working out religiously since 12 weeks post partum. I should have started about 8 weeks post partum, but I doubt even that would have made enough of a difference. When I've tested myself, I've run my 1.5 mile between 17:40-18:00, so I'm almost at the same level of fitness I had pre-baby. I can probably shave a little bit more off of my time for my actual test, but there's no way I will be able to run in 16:22.
My problem is that my heartrate reaches 200+ while I'm running. I physically cannot work any harder. I'm giving it my absolute all with every single run, but that still isn't fast enough. I saw a doctor about a month ago, and she referred me to a cardiologist. I had to wait forever to get an appointment, so I'm not going to be seen until next week. I'm convinced that there's nothing truly wrong with me and that I will probably just be told I'm out of shape. At least then I will know that I'm not going to drop dead during the middle of a run.
I've been trying so hard, but my best is not good enough. I'm so stressed out over this that I'm having trouble sleeping at night.
I don't know what the point of this post was other than to have a pity party for myself. Thanks for listening.