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40,000-49,999 SparkPoints 46,047

I Have Grown While Shrinking/ I love Sparkpeople

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A little over two years ago, I was super morbidly obese. I was a good friend, a good mom, a great student, a nice classroom/PTA volunteer, a friendly Girl Scout Leader, and a good employee, but I was tired and there were a lot of fears that were holding me back in life.

The person I am today is not the person that I have been. I used to be scared of everything, and it was stifling. I only applied to one graduated program because I was afraid of driving on the freeway (I did not get in because I "did not add any cultural diversity" to the program, I guess they had enough white women). I hadn't worked a full time job before (unless you count being a full time student or being a full time mother). I never dance when I went to clubs with my friends. I did not like to try new things or go new places. I didn't like to hang out with the young kids, so I avoided concerts and things like that. I did not feel comfortable at the beach. I have a list of all sorts of things I wouldn't have done.

I lost 160 pounds, and while eating better and exercising I got my anxiety issues in check. I found I was more willing to try things. I went to some concerts with my sister. I went rock wall climbing with my local spark team. I participated in a 5K, 10K, and half marathon. I did not mind hanging out with the younger and prettier crowd. I went to the beach and even wore my swimsuit in public (never wore my swimsuit in public in the last 20 years prior). This last six months (okay not so much shrinking has gone on this last six month, but it will again in the near future), I found myself needing more income since my husband was unemployed. I worked 9+ hour days. I had the energy to work a 9 hour day (with over an hour of driving while still taking on the mom role). I had to drive the freeway with this job. I drive the freeway now, which still blows my mind. I feel like an independent person for the first time in my life. My husband currently makes way more money than I do again, but it's nice to know I can take care myself. I have never felt like that before. I have always felt very dependent on other people.

I have learned a lot from Sparkpeople. I learned a lot about balance and moderation with food. I learned that everything adds up, and that helped me stretch my income this last few month. I have a more positive spin on life. I have made some really good friends and found inspiration in others. I have just grown so much, while shrinking. I can't always control what happens in life, but I do have more faith in my ability to take care of things. I am so glad that I decided to join Sparkpeople. I lost over 150 pounds, and I found myself. I am stronger and so thankful for that.I emoticon Sparkpeople
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    so inspirational!!!! you have come such a long now as you said totally able to take care of yourself and family..sparkpeople is so much more than losing pounds.. emoticon
    2240 days ago
    (i love it. grown while shrinking. so true, girl. i am so proud of you.)
    2248 days ago
    I've loved reading about your progress and seeing such an amazing transformation! Congratulations!! I have similar anxiety issues that you struggled with so this is great motivation! Thank you!
    2250 days ago
    ..and to think, it's just the beginning of more adventures for you every day. I love reading about your progress. You go girl!
    2258 days ago
    This was just a great blog to read!!! Thanks for inspiring me and congrats on the weight loss!!
    2262 days ago
    I love this blog, and i feel exactly the same!
    It's incredible how weight not only holds you down physically, but also emotionally!
    2262 days ago
    emoticon I love that you know exactly how awesome you were before you lost any weight!

    You CAN do anything you set your mind to!!!!
    2262 days ago
    Jeannie! You are so emoticon azz!

    I'm sosososo proud of you and happy for you and amazed by everything that you've accomplished.

    2262 days ago
    I love this blog ......and I love your positive outlook ! You are the epitome of a Spark person !!!!! Way to go !!!
    2262 days ago
    Wow! Good for you! Congratulations!!
    2262 days ago
    WOW! I'm so exited for you to do all the things you weren't doing before! I went through a period where I wouldn't do things or go places because I was going to be the big one. I still have a lot of weight to lose, but I am trying to be better about "doing" because my friends and family love me no matter what. I wore a bathing suit in public for the first time in FOREVER on our honeymoon last year - it was scary, but I'm happy I did it.
    I am working on consistency and motivation, and I wanted to thank you for posting this motivational blog :-)
    2262 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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