Thursday, August 12, 2010
A little over two years ago, I was super morbidly obese. I was a good friend, a good mom, a great student, a nice classroom/PTA volunteer, a friendly Girl Scout Leader, and a good employee, but I was tired and there were a lot of fears that were holding me back in life.
The person I am today is not the person that I have been. I used to be scared of everything, and it was stifling. I only applied to one graduated program because I was afraid of driving on the freeway (I did not get in because I "did not add any cultural diversity" to the program, I guess they had enough white women). I hadn't worked a full time job before (unless you count being a full time student or being a full time mother). I never dance when I went to clubs with my friends. I did not like to try new things or go new places. I didn't like to hang out with the young kids, so I avoided concerts and things like that. I did not feel comfortable at the beach. I have a list of all sorts of things I wouldn't have done.
I lost 160 pounds, and while eating better and exercising I got my anxiety issues in check. I found I was more willing to try things. I went to some concerts with my sister. I went rock wall climbing with my local spark team. I participated in a 5K, 10K, and half marathon. I did not mind hanging out with the younger and prettier crowd. I went to the beach and even wore my swimsuit in public (never wore my swimsuit in public in the last 20 years prior). This last six months (okay not so much shrinking has gone on this last six month, but it will again in the near future), I found myself needing more income since my husband was unemployed. I worked 9+ hour days. I had the energy to work a 9 hour day (with over an hour of driving while still taking on the mom role). I had to drive the freeway with this job. I drive the freeway now, which still blows my mind. I feel like an independent person for the first time in my life. My husband currently makes way more money than I do again, but it's nice to know I can take care myself. I have never felt like that before. I have always felt very dependent on other people.
I have learned a lot from Sparkpeople. I learned a lot about balance and moderation with food. I learned that everything adds up, and that helped me stretch my income this last few month. I have a more positive spin on life. I have made some really good friends and found inspiration in others. I have just grown so much, while shrinking. I can't always control what happens in life, but I do have more faith in my ability to take care of things. I am so glad that I decided to join Sparkpeople. I lost over 150 pounds, and I found myself. I am stronger and so thankful for that.I