100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 133,417

Fighting That Fat Girl Feeling

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Today I feel as though I have slid back a bit mentally. I had a lousy day at work and then went to the gym to work out in my group challenge class. We do circuit training and almost everything we had to do made me feel like "the fat girl" because I couldn't do many of the things. I HATED the feeling that I was standing out because I had to do modifications and even some of those I couldn't do because of my IT (ilio-tibial) Band Tendonitis. I couldn't do some of the same ball weights or dumbbell weights the others could and I couldn't do jumping jacks because of my knee or squats because it was aggravating my tendonitis. I know everyone is different and at different places. It just made me feel like the "fat girl" and I just wanted SO BAD to run the heck out of there, but I finished the class.

My trainer asked me afterwards what was going on and I told him how I was feeling like the fat girl and can't wait for the end of the challenge because I am not enjoying it. We talked for a few minutes and then later came over to me and he said he respected my feelings, but to trust him because I am offering something to the class. I felt my feelings (like a failure; fat girl; wanting to run, leave the gym; and eat to stuff my feelings) this time and did not run from them. While I was "sitting with those feelings" I stayed at the gym and worked out on the seated bike after the class.

Staying at the gym paid off. Not only did I burn more calories, but I used the foam roller on my leg with the tendonitis and felt some relief. I took care of myself in a healthy way.

When I got home I had a protein shake with frozen fruit and did not stuff my feelings. Instead I am blogging now and am letting go. As a result I am not feeling like a failure or as much like a fat girl.

Today I accepted and felt my feelings and I didn't run from them or stuff them with food. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity for me to continue to take good care of my mind and my body.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This is excellent! Feeling like the fat girl can be pretty desperate and lonely, but you handled it so well! emoticon

    This is really important as far as I am concerned, too, because I have to tell you: I am now 60 pounds down and hovering around 134 -- holy crap, the smallest I've EVER been in my adult life! -- and I STILL have far too many days where I feel like the fat girl! So, I am so happy for you that you already know how to get a handle on it. That's such a great ingredient in the ol' recipe for long-term success!

    Also, isn't the foam roller a freakin' godsend for a chronically tight IT band?! My physical therapist also used to have me do clamshells and sidesteps with a resistance band. Maybe that will help you too if you're not doing them already!
    2730 days ago
    You know, this reminded me of how one feels when you are the new person to exercise, feeling obvious, awkward and standing out. And then I wondered, how do you think athletes who are on the injured list feel? They have to work back to former familiar strength slowly. I'm glad you stuck through it. Everyone who trains for a long time goes through a "I hate this" phase. When you stick through it, new skill and a new level of performance is available.
    emoticon for sticking with it!!!!
    2752 days ago
    Weird, isn't it, how some days feel more heavy and plodding and others feel pretty darned light and good. We just added a new Zumba song tuesday that made me have the same feelings. Up to now, I've been, well, downright prideful about how well I've been able to move through the steps and actually do some things better than other (THINNER) people in the class. This one is going to kick my butt, though, as it requires some squats and jumps - not gonna happen!

    You did good, and I'm so proud of you. Owning your feelings and taking control of your response - oh, girl, YOU are AMAZING!!!!
    2753 days ago
    Well done!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2754 days ago
  • MACMOM57
    Love this blog Sarah. Sounds like you really have a great trainer. Sure does help when you have someone who will listen and then respect your feelings. Makes all the difference in the world. You are doing so well. I need to grab your had a go along with you. Have a great day.
    2754 days ago
    I am glad you stuck it out in the class. Just think how bad you would have felt if you left. Good Job!
    2754 days ago
  • PATTYS74
    good for you Sarah. You are getting so strong and you are going to do this. Did you go back and read the Oak Tree message. Don't forget to do that Wednesday...before you go to work. I am so proud og the way you are handling set backs how well you are fighting them. Remember that every body in that room at one time or another has a problem with something in the class. Today was your day and now it is over. You are an inspiration.
    2754 days ago
    I was in a class feeling like the fat girl. The teacher told me how much she admired that I was sticking with the class. You are doing amazing. emoticon
    2754 days ago
    Never give up!
    emoticon emoticon
    2754 days ago
  • TAWA0823
    What an awesome blog... My guess is a lot of us have felt that way. I know I have many times. I am so proud of you for owning your feelings but choosing to act on them in a positive way. What a motivation for me... Keep up the good work!!!! emoticon
    2754 days ago
    What a great attitude. I am so proud of you for not giving up. You are a strong person and it showed in the Gym and at home. Keep at it, you are encouraging and inspirational to me and to others. Have a great night. Take care. emoticon
    2754 days ago
    I loved reading your blog! I have felt those feelings frequently, and appreciate and support the strength you showed by staying at the gym. Good for you!! emoticon
    2754 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by NOTGIVINGUP49