Life keeps getting in the way...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I have been away from spark people for a while now. I just don't seem to have the time to be on the website like I used to. I have so much stuff going on. And life keeps getting in the way. On the plus least now I do have a life to speak of. A year ago I really had almost nothing of a life. I was only working part time...I was single. And with friends living so far away I almost never went out. Now...after almost a year on spark I am now working full time...I have an amazing boyfriend who I spend as much time with as I can. And trying to spend time with Mara before school starts...I find that I don't have any time for the computer whatsoever anymore. I check Facebook quickly in the morning and at work if I get the chance...otherwise I'm not on the computer much at all.

But I also don't have enough time for working out either. I wake up...make mara breakfast...get in the shower, get myself ready for work, dinner. Then Mara goes to daycare and I go to work. No time for exercise...and that also means I have resorted back to old eating habits...sort of. I find myself now grabbing fast food because I don't have time to pack a lunch. I have gained some weight back again. I keep saying I am starting over...about 30 times a day. Its just so hard when there is no time to take care of me. I try to weigh my options...would I rather workout or spend little bit of free time with the people I love...and right now I'd rather be with people. Once school starts and Mara is back in school I will have time to workout. I'll be able to get out and run like I want. I do miss the running alot but I think I'd miss Mara and Joe more if I chose running over them. Once summer is over and things start to slow down a little more I will go back to running. I will get myself back into the swing of things. So right now my main goal is to NOT gain tons of weight back. I have a wedding in sept and I have to make sure my dress still fits! I tried it on yesterday and I still have room but hopefully I won't need the room! This is just so hard. I want to still be sparking but I haven't figured out how to balance things. I can't spark every day...I don't want counting calories to run my life. I don't want to get obsessive about working out. I am going to not count calories anymore...I just can't do it. It makes me absolutely crazy. I am just going to listen to my body and just make smarter food choices. But for right now I am going to be honest with myself and with anyone reading this. I know I am going to gain a few more lbs this summer. The fact is that right now I am not trying to lose weight. I'm ready for whatever number pops up on the scale whenever I decided to get back on the wagon. I am ready to have to lose whatever it was I have gained. I take full responsibility for whatever happens. I'm not blaming anyone else for my weight anymore. I won't leave spark people completely and I will try to check in whenever I can but for right now I won't be on that much. Until things slow down a bit I have to do whats right for me. I love my spark friends dearly but I have people in my life that mean more to me than anything! So please don't think I have left you if you don't see me here for a week or so. I'm still here...I am finally just living my life I so desperately wanted!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You sound like you are in a very happy place. Hang in there. I am just starting out and I see how much weight you have lost, I am inspired.

    School starts which means routines can start again! emoticon
    2377 days ago
    Let me add my two cents. I know how life can get in your way. What you want to keep in mind is that you can make changes in 10 minute increments, or one food choice at a time. Even if you can't devote an hour for a run, you can probably find 10 minutes to do some strength training, or small aerobic exercise.

    When you take time to take care of yourself you are putting time into the people you love. Each step you take to become healthier means you add years to future you can spend with your loved ones. Minute by minute, day by day you build a bank of strength for your future. Stay strong, and stop by when you can.
    2388 days ago
    Sarah, I sooooo understand. I sure hope you'll check in a few times a week though, because you've come so far, and you don't want to backslide too much! I struggle with the same things....which is why I haven't lost any weight for several months. If I'm honest with myself I'll have to admit that most days I don't even try, even though I'd like to. But I have a hard time squeezing in exercise, and making good food choices because like you gets in the way.

    I've made it a priority to log in to SP every day though--sometimes it's 11pm when I finally have time--and keep that connection, because I know that when I'm ready to get my head back in the game, I'm gonna need my teammates and my cheerleaders. Hopefully you'll stay with it at least in that minimal way until you are ready to give it your best effort again too. (Or I might have to come down there and give you a big kick in the you-know-where!)
    2389 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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