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    MAR-SEE-A  
SparkPoints
 
 

This came from a Friend. I thought some you might enjoy it. (:)


Saturday, December 30, 2006

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its ow n platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and cre ated quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

Thought for the day .

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheim er 's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HYACINTHBUCKET 6/7/2007 11:12AM

    Mar-see-A, I needed that laugh! I've been down alot lately and that made me lmao! Thank you Hon!

Hyacinth

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BEVERLEELYNN 2/20/2007 11:11PM

    THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I'VE READ IN A WHILE, IT HAD ME CRACKIN UP SO HARD MY EYES WERE WATERING. THANKS FOR POSTING SOMETHING SOO FUNNY- WE ALL COULD USE A GOOD LAUGH NOW AND AGAIN.

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NINIVA 2/20/2007 6:02PM

    *snickering* *snorting* *rolling on the ground with uncontrollable glee!* *wiping tears from eyes* *snickering again*... This seems to be a cycle!

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WANNALOSELBS 2/20/2007 4:48PM

    I love your blog, thank you for posting it

debi

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JADORA 2/20/2007 4:34PM

    hahahahahahahahahahaha
thanks

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UNICORN_MOM 2/20/2007 4:25PM

    Thank you for your post! This made my day.

Good luck to you on your journey.

Tammy

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CRYSTALPHOENIX 2/20/2007 2:13PM

    Hehehe, that was excellent ^.^ I really enjoyed that lol

The thought for the day was funny as well :D

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LOSTNOMAD 2/20/2007 1:38PM

    Thanks for lifting my spirits with this today!

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POOHBEARKM 2/20/2007 1:14PM

  Loved it! Printing it off and referring to it often!

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LIVINGFOR2DAY 2/20/2007 1:10PM

  Very funny... made me smile :-)

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DANCETHEBEACH 2/20/2007 12:24PM

    Absolutely hysterical (but painfully true!) Thanks for sharing.

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JUBILANTJOYCE 2/20/2007 11:19AM

    I just have to comment on this Blog, I loved It! and will read it again for giggles!!
Your Mind is witty and very fun !
Jubilant Joyce

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