Good morning everyone,
I haven't blogged anything in a while and I am sure that is a good indication to all of you that I haven't been exercising or eating well.
My shifts at work have been switched to 11 hours from 9.5 and to boot I work night shift *yawn* and because it's summer right now I have been working sometimes 5 or six in row which completely drains me!! I have not been sleeping well during the day so I go to work all groggy and barely able to stay awake until 8am so there's the reason why I haven't been taking the time to pack healthy lunches or even think about exercising.
I have someone on my Facebook friend's list from High School, we had gone to school together, oh about 22 years ago. I have to admit she looks AMAZING and I am in awe of how awesome she looks especially after having six kids. She is a personal trainer and has recently added bulk to her body and has about 10% body fat and lots of muscle. At first I was "wow, she's amazing, look at her, she's such an inspiration! She belongs to another diet and fitness site similar to Sparks and so I joined and became her friend there.
At first I thought she would be a great motivator for me. She logs in tips everyday for us people looking for exercise ideas and such, however last week she wrote something on her wall that made me think a little less of her and actually she's now becoming downright irritating, she wrote "She is sick and tired of seeing people on this particular site that are not serious about exercising and dieting and how others offer words of encouragement to those who have a bad day and cheated on their diet or haven't exercised" and she's thinking of just quitting the site altogether because she is annoyed with people who don't want to take it seriously, blah blah
Okay, so this lady spends most of her time at the gym, I realize she has to have a great looking body and be very fit to be a fitness trainer but I resent how she thinks we should all be like her. Heck, it's not like our full time employment is working at the gym!
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I have been so consumed by her success and secretly hoping to accomplish similar to what she has accomplished and forgot why I had wanted to lose weight in first place. It was not to become a fitness model but to be healthy and be able to do everyday tasks without getting out of breath, etc...
Oh yeah, she had posted a little while ago that she had ran a 20K marathon and was so disappointed because it took her 4 hours to reach the finish line and she was soooo disappointed with herself. Arghh, she is obviously out of my league because for me running two minutes straight would be amazing!!
It is all very clear to me at the moment and I had not realized it until now. At the beginning of my weight loss journey I was focused on losing the weight and getting myself toned, then this girl comes along and without me realizing it, I am trying to be like her and reach HER GOALS and forgetting what mine were. Along the line, I have forgotten that I don't work at the gym and train clients, I work behind a computer all night long while everyone else is sleeping. In turn, I have become discouraged because I have not been successful like her and just started eating crap again and not exercising. Funny how our minds work sometimes.
Please don't get me wrong I think what this girl has done is amazing but realistically I will not have the body she has with the six pack abs, I don't have the time or ambition for that. I just want to be at a healthy weight and to have a toned body. I especially hate it when I can feel the jiggle under my arms move when I wave. Ughhh!!
I will concentrate and focus on what I can do and forget about one day running a 20k marathon because honestly I don't enjoy cardio that involves running or jumping up and down. The accomplishments I have made which should make me proud is that I can go cycling with my 14 year old son for a couple of hours and not feel like I'm dying, heck keeping up with my athletic son is something I should be very proud of and not to mention I have no problem going for very long walks such as 4-5 miles. Walking is good isn't it?
I am done venting for now and going to take my energy out on some real nasty weeds out in my garden, should keep me busy for a couple of hours then get some sleep as I am back to work tonight :(
Have a good day everyone :)