Thursday, July 29, 2010
Well, I haven't blogged in forever-- like 3 months actually. Wow! It has been an interesting 3 months. LOL First of all, I will be 24 weeks pregnant in 2 days. Seems like it has went so fast and so slow at the same time. I kinda went crazy at first-- didn't really have any idea what to do. I felt a little lost and stuff, but eventually, I formed a plan and I've been sticking to it. Although I faltered at first, I feel like I am doing pretty well and in my "groove". I have been working out consistently, Mon-thru Friday, between 45 min. to an hour a day, and feeling pretty good as far as energy and all goes. I definitely have less than I did before, but I'm not near as lazy as I was in my last pregnancy. I mostly do Turbo Jam. Let me tell you, I look pretty funny doing the "pumps" and stuff! HAHA I was doing CLX for several weeks. Just the weights-- not the intervals, and seeing some good definition. I haven't done any for about 3 weeks now, and can really tell! My arms are way more flabby, so I am totally going to get back into it. I did switch to bands though. I was feeling pretty lightheaded, trying to do the heavy weights.
I have been learning a lot. This is one thing I suppose I needed. I have been learning how to maintain. This was really hard for me at first. If I wasn't trying to lose 5 lbs a week, I didn't know what to do! (joke on the 5 pounds) But really, mentally it was a huge transition. I also think that looking back I really wasn't eating enough on a daily basis. Although my binges made up for it! I have also realized that my body doesn't always work like a science book. They say that a calorie deficit of 3500 and you lose a pound. It might take my body a while to let go of that pound. In fact, it might take a few of those deficits and then my body will let go of a few pounds at once. That is how I work, and I needed to realize it. I would get so impatient for the scale to go down, that I would try all kinds of wacky stuff to get it to do so. Now I realize that if I know I am on the right track, my body WILL release that weight, on its own time. I also figured out that little bites throughout the day really add up. No more nibbles here and there-- it all counts and all adds up.
I have been watching what I eat-- I try to stay between 1700 and 2000 cals, although it seems like I come in closer to the 2000 most days. I write everything down in a food diary. That has been my lifesaver. My food log is also a journal. I have pages and pages of feelings, frustrations, victories and learned lessons. I read it alot-- Sometimes I read an entry I wrote a month ago, and still learn from it. It is where I tend to vent and contemplate.
I also weigh myself every day. I know a lot of experts say to only weigh once a week, but I have been weighing everyday for over a year now, and I know how my weight fluctuates,and it is a huge help. I know that if my weight goes up a couple of pounds after a bad day, it is just water weight, BUT it also keeps me in check. I know I have to really watch what i am doing. I eat a pretty healthy diet-- fruits and veggies, but a lot of lean protein, little processed carbs, and some good healthy natural ones.
So with all of this, I am proud to say I have not gained any weight in almost 4 months. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I have honestly never been able to say that during a pregnancy, and especially not my last. My weight does fluctuate. I stay right around 240-- although one weekend, I swelled up like a grape, and no joke- I went up 9 lbs. Thankfully when the swelling went down, so did my weight! I have gained since I got pregnant, so I am not so proud of that-- I gained about 10 lbs in the first few weeks, and just never went back down.On the bright side, maintaining my weight till November will give me a weight gain of 10 lbs. hehe And even then, 10 lbs at 6 months is still not bad in my book. :) With my last pregnancy, I was at 260 lbs by 24 weeks. So yay for that! That is 20 lbs I have managed NOT to gain. And boy have I learned that it is much easier to maintain this weight than it is to lose more!
I have been working on my bingeing too. I bought the Beck book-- before I had only checked it out of the library. Now that I have it, I can REALLY do the program. (Not a diet, just a book to help change my "fat" mindset.) I also read a profile of a girl on here who had decided to see how long she could go without a binge, and is now binge free for NINE months. And lost about 100 lbs! Just reading her story gave me hope that I could do it too. I went nine days without one single binge. On the 9th day I was struggling bad. I almost gave in, but didn't. On the 10th day I was struggling worse, and by that evening, I gave in. But anyways, 9 days in a row is huge for me, so I know now that I CAN do this, and I WILL do this. I am determined to be binge free. And I will. I am becoming much stronger mentally. I don't question myself like I used to. I don't doubt myself so much. I have given myself a lot of little and big victories. I am beginning to love and TRUST myself. One big victory for me: I went in for a check up at a clinic. They weighed me (of course) I was soo embarrassed of how much I weighed. When I left, I told myself, "I want to weigh the same or less the next time I come in" which was in 2 months. My first thought was " yeah right! I suck at this, I'm pregnant, and I always get fat" My next thought was, "Why not? I CAN do this, in fact I HAVE to do this. My only alternative is GAINING and I cannot let myself go" I was on cloud nine 2 months later. I weighed in EXACTLY the same. Of course I would love to weight less, but the fact that I had made my goal was a HUGE accomplishment for me. :)
The best part-- I had my ultrasound about 4 weeks ago. Not only was baby doing good-- he was doing GREAT!!! The US tech was actually impressed at the amount of blood flow he was getting, (I attribute that to my exercise) the strength of the placenta and the other measurements she took. And baby is growing right on schedule-- even a bit heavier than we expected. (expected around 9 oz and he was 13) And yes, it is a boy. :) (So much for 2 boys and 2 girls!) I was thrilled that all was super healthy. That re inforced my commitment to my healthy plan.
So just an update on all that is going on. I hope to write again soon, and have even more good news. Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer for me!! :):)