Thursday, July 29, 2010
Yes, I'm human. After such a successful weight loss with SP I fell off the wagon and after approx. a year and a half I am back. I had lost a whopping 130 lbs. going from 370 lbs. down to 240 lbs. YAY for me!!! Don't be too quick to cheer. Over the past year and a half I have managed to *groaning here* gain back 70 of the 130 I had lost. I'm not sure why I lost control or what triggered the continual demise but I THINK I am ready to continue on this journey. So today I start once again at 310 lbs. UGH, UGH, and DOUBLE UGH!!!
I was so emabarassed by this out of control..ness that I even removed the ticker from my Spark page. I certainly didn't want to discourage anyone but more importantly I didn't want anyone to see how out of control I was. It's embarassing to say the least. To think that food has such control over me.
To my Lord, I ask forgiveness.
To those I inspired in the past, my apologies.
To those who continue to support me, my heartfelt thanks.
Even though I've been lost for the past year and a half I want you all to know that I did log into SP every single day. I did the SP points, the polls, the trivia, read articles and blogs... I found a little joy in receiving a couple of SP awards every month for doing those things. It all helped me to feel like I was still connected.
It helps to write this all down; to be accountable to you all. I am going to repost my ticker today. I may even have to have a new pic taken. Not sure what I would call it. Man this takes so much courage but I think it is essential to my getting a healthy mind set once again.
If you are a believer, please pray for me. The Lord is my strenth in all things, including this thorn in my side. He is bigger then any bag of chips or any craving. Please Lord, have mercy.
Love you all.
And so my journey continues....
And now I sit here with tears in my eyes trying to muster the courage to hit the "Post Blog Entry" button... Confession is good for the soul. OK...here goes...