Sunday, July 25, 2010
The other day, I was so depressed. I didn't feel as if I were doing enough to help my health or my goals for weight loss. I felt as if it was all for not and maybe I should just give up. I realized that this wasn't a healthy thing to feel and went to bed to meditate on the reality of why I was feeling this way and just why I was setting myself up for failure with those thoughts.
Maxx (my significant other, otherwise known as Dreygan) realized there was something going on with me and crawled into bed to comfort me. When I poured out my emotions to him... He was extremely supportive and he opened my eyes to just what was really happening with me. He asked me one simple question. 'How much weight have you lost in these two weeks?' I answered him with honesty. I told him that I had lost 10 lbs.
The room was quiet for a long time before he spoke. There was a smile in his voice as he said to me: "In two weeks you have lost 10 lbs. Do you realize just how amazing that is? Obviously, there is something in your own mind telling you that it's not good enough. That you're not good enough. But I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that I am proud of you."
A smile started to creep back on my face as he continued. "So, 10 lbs in two weeks is 20 lbs a month. You want to lose 140 lbs in over a year. So, if you keep going at this rate... You will have lost 280 lbs in the time that you want to lose this weight. Hunny, you'll be NEGATIVE 10 lbs! You're going to waste away to nothing."
I should tell you that Maxx is a very logical thinker. He opened my eyes to the fact that not only am I doing well but I'm ahead of schedule with my goals. Just because *I* feel like crap about what is happening to my body doesn't mean that I am doing poorly. It just means that I am expecting too much from my own self. I'm expecting perfection when there is no way in hell I will ever be able to achieve that perfection and be healthy at the same time.