Control... Such a small word...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
So my dad just moved out of the ICU after 12 days into a step down ICU. My dad, the strongest, most healthy/unhealthy man I know had a blood vessel burst at the base of his head, thus causing bleeding around his brain. Talk about scary. When your own father tells you that he really thought they would not know what happened to him until they did the autopsy on him that night is a very terrifying thing. My mom is sleeping at the hospital every night and cannot relax enough to come home and take a nap that she desperately needs. He's getting better, but he's still not out of the woods, yet.
Events like this make you think... How could this have happened? How can I make this better? What am I supposed to do now? Who is going to pay for this? Will he be back to work this year? Will he be able to fully recover? Who is in control?
Control... Control is such a small word considering the weight of the meaning behind those tiny, seemingly insignificant letters. No one is in control of anything, here. Sure, the nurses control when he gets pain meds... The doctor controls when the tubes can be removed... But who is in control of "it"? I'm not sure how to answer that, but I know one thing. Although all of this is scary and heart-breaking... it has caused me to really think about what's important in life. I have realized that alongside love, family, and friends, your health really is important in being able to live a long, healthy, fruitful life.
SparkPeople has helped me to stay in control of the ONE thing in my life that I know I, myself alone, can control. I may not be getting the exercise I need to be getting, or the sleep I need to be getting... but I can control the snacks I eat on the road to the hospital and how much water I drink on these sweltering hot days. I can control what foods I'm eating and make sure that even through all this turmoil, I can control my healthy destiny by staying focused on the foods I eat, making the transition back to my true healthy lifestyle as easy as possible.
It's amazing how much better you feel in a hard time just knowing that the one thing you really can control is the best thing for you.... Health. You can't live a long healthy life if you don't have a healthy lifestyle. So thank you, SparkPeople, for helping me to stay sane and focused in this time of crazy uncertainty.