Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Back when I lost weight before (157 pounds) I worked sooo hard to get it off. I restricted my calories, I worked out for 90 minutes every day. Got up at 4 am to do that. Felt horribly guilty if I consumed one calorie too many. I lost it so quick I never really got adjusted to the "new me on the inside" or the "new me on the outside". Everything in my life was I MUST WORKOUT and I MUST EAT RIGHT and NEVER MESS UP. I weighed myself 3-4 times a day and I didn't even realize how obsessed I got until now.
This is nuts, but I'm actually enjoying weight loss this time. I didn't gain it all back...about half, before I realized HOLY CRAP GINA you need to take a look at yourself. It was getting out of hand. Of course, their for a while I couldn't work out because of major back pain. But lack of exercise led to no motivation when I could actually work out. We all know how hard it is to get back on track once you've fallen off the right path. Of course the no exercise...and being so mad because I worked so hard and then ended up hurting myself (not exercising, mind you) resulted in me eating everything in site. This is partly because I was so restricted for 14 months, that I just went bananas. Oh ooooo how hard it is to get stop yourself from indulging once you start. Ugh! So there is went...that viscious cycle...eating WAY TOO much...exercising WAY TOO little...and then I got fatter and fatter. Blah! And I beat myself up all along the way. My depression came back...even though I didn't even realize it. I started spending hours locked away in my bedroom, watching tv and staying online. What the heck kinda life is that?
Well no more! This time around is totally different!!! I've lost 46 pounds that I gained back and soooo determined to get rid of it all. But at my own healthy pace. I want to enjoy the foods I love from time to time and not be so restricted. I don't want to think about food every second of every day. And I don't anymore. If I want something I eat it. I watch my portions. I eat healthy 90% of the time. I follow the Curves plan which is amazing, because your calorie requirements vary over the 30 day cycle, so you can to splurge here and there.
Workouts aren't so crazy either. I used to pack in 90 minutes first thing in the morning, and I would be so mad at myself if I didn't. It would affect my mood for the entire day. Now I do a Curves workout in the morning when I work, and do some sort of workout video around 1. But I keep moving ALL day long! This is sooo helpful and is really helping me see results. My M2 is so motivating. Watching it turn green throughout the day just keeps me on my feet and moving. I can't wait to get home and see how many miles I walked, how many calories I burned, how many heart minutes I got, and how many steps I took. If I don't make it that day, I don't beat myself up. I just work a little harder the next day. It's great!
I'm still reading as much about nutrition as possible. Man do I love it. I'm learning how to cook! I'm almost chopping vegetables like a pro! I even just ordered some books on organic gardening. It's crazy how my total outlook has changed!
I'm happier because I'm not obsessing over food, exercise or the scale. I look at how my clothes fit, if my body fat goes down and my measurements more so. Don't get me wrong, who doesn't love for the scale to go down, but its so much more important to focus on the other things. I want to get my body fat in the healthy range for my age, so about 25% for the first time ever! I want to pack on muscle, so my metabolism stays high! I want my waist to be half my height like Dr. Oz recommends. I wanna feel good. I wanna do things. I wanna live my LIFE!!
I'm getting new workouts videos. Gonna make a great workout rotation. Gonna move as much as possible. Cook often. Drink tons of water. Take my supplements and meet my goals!