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44 pounds lost, under 170, still feel like fat girl...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

For the first time in I can't remember how long, I weigh under 170. It is like a miracle, except that I know I have done the work to get here. I look in the mirror and almost don't recognize that woman.

I got off my bike in front of a store window and did not recognize myself!

My eyes (and my clothing sizes) tell me one thing but inside my head, just walking around, I still often feel like the fat girl. I still want to mindlessly eat the candy in the office, I still can overeat when confronted by bowls of nuts, I still want to snack in front of the TV or eat too much in one sitting.

Then I'll see myself in the mirror or window and realize where I've come.

When does the fat girl in my head leave for good? I am trying to view this weight loss as permanent and just "the new me", "the real me" and not come from a place of fear that I'll revert back to my old ways and end up wearing size 18 pants again. Fear is not a good place to come from and I recognize that I have come from that place in the past which might have been part of my downfall.

I look forward to the day when my head aligns more closely with my body and I feel like the slender(ish), fit, healthy person that I have become.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I really relate to this blog, thank you! For me, Judith S Beck's 42 day programme set out in her book (and workbook) "The Diet Solution", helped me start down the path of "learning to think like a thin person". It's one thing to lose weight, and you are doing great. But you're facing the fact that you're still not feeling like a thin person, and that's an important realization. Beck helps us, through techniques of cognitive psychology, bridge that gap to changing how we think. I recommend it, I have a series of Beck blogs (in my archives, if you want the flavour for the programme) and there is also a very enthusiastic Beck team. It's worth paying attenting to how you're feeling because only about 5% of people who lose weight actually keep it off: those who don't are possibly among those who haven't changed how they think.

    Good luck to you!!
    2259 days ago
    You go girl!! Congrats on all of your hard work and the rewards :)

    2259 days ago
  • AUBIE822
    We can workout and change our bodies, but our brains are a different story! Don't worry, it will catch up, but it takes getting used to! emoticon
    2677 days ago
  • KARVY09
    I think it takes awhile for the mind to catch up with the physical changes you have made to your body, which is completely normal. Take time for yourself to reflect and enjoy your new body and all the new things it can do!
    2677 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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