Saturday, July 17, 2010
I think I am learning all the different ways this doesn't work. Or at least I hope I am learning - I'm certainly experiencing them.
Both food and exercise have fallen somewhat away on this vacation. Motivation to do something about it has also fallen by the wayside. That might be ok if it were a one week vacation, but 4+ could be an issue.
Some things learned:
1. Epiphany - well of course I wanted a buffer - a physical one. Picture this. Visiting my parents and they are yelling at each other arguing about where to put a desk, a difference of 4 inches. Except they are standing about 2 feet apart yelling with me in THE MIDDLE. I did later tell my father, calmly, that yelling through me wasn't ok.
2. Blogging helps. It's keeping track, of days, of the journey, of insight, sometimes just a habit. And really this is all about developing better habits.
3. When days are a little uncontrollable or outside normal patterns, exercise probably should be planned in. That's an oxymoron, but it's not working the other way.
4. Foods of my childhood have a whole allure. It's powerful. I give in. There should be a way that this isn't necessarily wrong but positive moderation or something. I don't have this one figured out at all.
5. Full is a foreign concept. Again, picture this. A group of us are out for dim sum. Fiona is ordering cause she knows what she's doing. We've eaten bits and pieces of wonderful things - all delicious. She's trying to figure out whether to order more. She asks if we are getting full, or want more. To me these are unrelated to each other. I don't know if I'm getting full, but do know that it tastes good and I would have eaten more. BUT 8 other people are indicating that they are approaching full and we've eaten similar amounts. I just don't know.
6. If it tastes good, I'll eat it. This is the second half of the point above. Regardless of how much I've eaten or how full I am (to some extent - once stuffed I feel full), if it tastes good, I'll eat it. And I'm an adventuresome eater so most of it tastes good.
7. Restarting an exercise streak is hard.
So, to sum up... food and exercise are both struggles right now. I'm really not sure that I have there wherewithal to put it all back in it's proper perspective just now either. At least not to where my ideal picture of managing all this is. At first I wrote "where I'd like it to be", but I deleted that realizing that I'm not sure about what I'd like. Plainly to some degree I like eating what I want just now.
I think the best I can do today is be aware of what is going on, forgive and accept myself (much harder than just about any exercise), and write again tomorrow. If I choose to keep coming back here and writing, and making my spark participation a priority, I will also make my health a priority. How's that for a goal - just don't walk away.