It's Me, I have been down......

Friday, July 16, 2010

Well I have not been on here for awhile, but I have not forgotten all my friends on here, You all have really helped me through alot. I am going through things that I don't even understand. I know that it is a spiritaul battle and I have not gave up yet. I have been really depressed latley and I am really battling this, I have been battling this for years on and off but this is been a hard one. I also am very upset with myself over my weight. I started sparkpeople Years ago and I weigh alot more now than when I started and I have just got know were. I am not giving up , One thing about me is that I am a fighter. I just wish I could get this eating under control and wanting the bad food. I know that alot of this is problems from my past that I have really never delt with and just pushed away and alot of family problems that I have had and my child hood, and I need to work through all of this so I can quit eating my feelings. I just don';t know how to do that. I know that God can help me and I know that He will send someone with help. I have still not got a scale yet but while we were at walmart I weighed myself and was so emberased by what it said, I was 309 lbs!!!!!! I can not belive that I have let myself get this way. I know that the doctors told me that I needed to get the weight off or it was going to kill me, it is killing my liver already, they told me 5 years ago when I had my gallblader took out that I had a fatty liver from my weight and that it was not healthy, they said that it was not getting enough oxgen to it and that it was brown instead of pink. You would think that this would have got me moving, but time and time again I fail. God Help me through all of this. I have been reading a book called { The Dieter's Prayer Book } And it is written by : HEATHER HARPHAM KOPP. And it gives you a story and verse and a question for the day and then a prayer for the day, I really felt that the prayer for today was me up and down and how I feel so I wanted to share it. Hope maybe this is others prayers as well.

Dear God,
Help me to always remember and lay hold of the victory that can be-- that is! -- mine in Christ Jesus. Too often I live like someone defeated, someone who is powerless to change.
Like a soldier who forgets his sword, I neglect your Word, leave Your love at the door.
It doesn't have to be that way-- and it won't be anymore!!!!!
----yes , absolutely and irrevocably convinced!--
( not cancer, accidents, difficult relationships , or dissappointments )
( not cults , spiritual oppression , or evil in the media )
( not any crisis looming now or any tragedy yet to come )
( not political , financial , military , cultural , or even culinary ! )
Nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate me from the love of GOD that is in CHRIST JESUS my LORD.
( From Rom. 8: 38-39 )

God Bless You All.
Felicia emoticon emoticon
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  • MAGA99

    2704 days ago
    Were can you get this book i am interested! Thank you for your blog! emoticon
    2706 days ago
    You talked about your obesity and childhood problems left unhandled. I think I can help you with that if you spark mail me. I will even give you my private email address. I went through this myself and got up to 350lbs. I finally took care of these problems with the help of God and somebody who really cared. I have stories that even horrified a psychologist. I totally understand the private hell that you are experiencing. If you don't want to talk to me, I understand completely. Somethings are just so deep and hard to talk about. Remember that there is help for you, whether it is me, Pastor Wiley, or somebody you know personally. I am praying for you now. emoticon
    2706 days ago
    Felicia my sweet sister emoticon I so understand where you are coming from. I have been battling demons from my past for years. Just recently God has been setting me free in so many ways. What did it for me is I had to lay every little bit of my life at the foot of the Cross and leave it there. When I was tempted to go back and pick it up I had to force myself to leave it there as my life is better in His hands then in mine. We will make it sweetie. I am by your side holding you up and I won't let go!!!! You are my good friend and sister and I will be with you for life,which we are going to have a long life together in Jesus name!!!! I love you and we will get through this together along with Pastor!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2706 days ago
    i love you so much little sister God will see us through. I am so proud that you can share all this with us all. You will make it like you said your a fighter and i am determined so let's do this
    2706 days ago
    Felicia, I'm so glad you're back! You're definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I know, I go through the same things with weight, but we all can help and support each other!
    2707 days ago
    So sorry that you have been down. Glad that you are back though. I can relate-we all get down and want to hide away. But you have so many people that care about you here....and you are strong inside and can't let this beat you. You said it yourself you are a fighter so keep on fighting and you can do this!!! If I can lose 120 pounds then you can lose your weight too. Its something you hav to set your mind to do for the rest of your life because once you lose the weight you don't stop-you have to keep it up forever as I am finding out with maintenance. I know you can do this!!!
    2707 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.