Well I have not been on here for awhile, but I have not forgotten all my friends on here, You all have really helped me through alot. I am going through things that I don't even understand. I know that it is a spiritaul battle and I have not gave up yet. I have been really depressed latley and I am really battling this, I have been battling this for years on and off but this is been a hard one. I also am very upset with myself over my weight. I started sparkpeople Years ago and I weigh alot more now than when I started and I have just got know were. I am not giving up , One thing about me is that I am a fighter. I just wish I could get this eating under control and wanting the bad food. I know that alot of this is problems from my past that I have really never delt with and just pushed away and alot of family problems that I have had and my child hood, and I need to work through all of this so I can quit eating my feelings. I just don';t know how to do that. I know that God can help me and I know that He will send someone with help. I have still not got a scale yet but while we were at walmart I weighed myself and was so emberased by what it said, I was 309 lbs!!!!!! I can not belive that I have let myself get this way. I know that the doctors told me that I needed to get the weight off or it was going to kill me, it is killing my liver already, they told me 5 years ago when I had my gallblader took out that I had a fatty liver from my weight and that it was not healthy, they said that it was not getting enough oxgen to it and that it was brown instead of pink. You would think that this would have got me moving, but time and time again I fail. God Help me through all of this. I have been reading a book called { The Dieter's Prayer Book } And it is written by : HEATHER HARPHAM KOPP. And it gives you a story and verse and a question for the day and then a prayer for the day, I really felt that the prayer for today was me up and down and how I feel so I wanted to share it. Hope maybe this is others prayers as well.



Dear God,
Help me to always remember and lay hold of the victory that can be-- that is! -- mine in Christ Jesus. Too often I live like someone defeated, someone who is powerless to change.
Like a soldier who forgets his sword, I neglect your Word, leave Your love at the door.
It doesn't have to be that way-- and it won't be anymore!!!!!
FOR I AM CONVINCED
----yes , absolutely and irrevocably convinced!--
THAT NEITHER DEATH NOR LIFE,
( not cancer, accidents, difficult relationships , or dissappointments )
NEITHER ANGELS NOR DEMONS,
( not cults , spiritual oppression , or evil in the media )
NEITHER THE PRESENT NOR FUTURE,
( not any crisis looming now or any tragedy yet to come )
NOR ANY POWERS,
( not political , financial , military , cultural , or even culinary ! )
Nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate me from the love of GOD that is in CHRIST JESUS my LORD.
( From Rom. 8: 38-39 )
AMEN.

God Bless You All.
Felicia