"Can I help you with that, Ma'am?"
I don't blog often.
I tend to spend the whole morning on edits and re-writes and use it as an excuse to procrastinate.
Yeah, cause that's not a problem for me at all...
Not eat so much, I've really got down.
and I get very disgusted with myself about it.
But that's not what I want to write about today.
Revelation - take II -
So we went on vacation with my (extended) family last week
(Corolla NC on the outer banks. Highly recommend!)
and I was
(maybe a little unhealthily)
that I was going to gain a ton of weight
(or maybe three pounds, to use a little 20/20 hindsight/perspective.)
My family is not universally known for its restraint in the eating department.
Gee, one wonders where I get my problems with food...
So we broke up the trip (9 to 10 hr. drive) and spent Friday night at a hotel in Norfolk VA, where we met up with my PA people. Dinner at a restaurant, I did good. I was really pleased with myself. Was I additionally motivated because I wanted to set a good example for my diabetic (and super food-irresponsible) father? I don't know.
and actually, I don't care. I was happy with what and how much I ate.
I feel like I pretty much have the eating-in-restaurants thing licked.
that's with a whole menu and many choices at my disposal.
The next morning, complimentary "continental breakfast."
So I did a "fly by" when I went down early for coffee for me and the hubby...
and I contemplated in the elevator.
And coming down (alone) in the elevator, (having collected about half a cup of blueberries from my "personal stash" Like, WHEN HAVE I EVER TAKEN BLUEBERRIES FOR TRAVEL SNACKS?!?! Well, I do now, sister...)
looking into my own eyes in the elevator mirror, seeing my collar bones and facial structure (hello cheekbones! Long time no see!!)
and wearing my LOOSE size 10 shorts (that had fit much more snug-ly two weeks before)
I had a plan
and another epiphany...
maybe a little one.
Cause I sorta already had this one.
Instead of a major starburst thing, this was just,
I did NOT WANT the danish.
You know the one. Dry yellowish concoction. little wavy swirls of icing. plotch of sweetened cream cheese in the middle.
Every continental breakfast in America has these...
Who invented those? They're probably rolling in, you'll pardon the expression, dough...
for absolute CRAP. Not even good pastry.
I'm from NJ. We know good pastry.
I DID NOT want the biscuit (and sausage gravy... shudder)
I ate one small serving of egg, one small cup of yogurt with my smuggled in blueberries, an orange (okay, and a piece of toast with peanut butter... I REALLY struggle with peanut butter...)
But still, in the past, I would have had the danish (and probably the biscuit, maybe not the gravy. I think sausage gravy is more of a southern thing and you have to have grown up with it.)
But the twinkling was: I did NOT deny myself the danish "because I shouldn't/can't have it," I really and truly DID NOT WANT it.
And therein lies the difference between NOW and all the OTHER TIMES I have tried to lose weight (whether I succeeded temporarily and then re-gained, or whether I starved myself for 5 to 7 hours and started eating again)
There is displayed right in front of my own face, why I WILL NOT fail this time.
I HAVE CHANGED FOR REAL. Not that I just changed what I eat.
A real gut/mind/heart check. Metamorphosis.
I am not mean to me anymore.
Oh, and I have a plan...
(Buying some TIGHT jeans and using their fit as the determining factor as to when I need to reduce intake/increase activity as opposed to the number on the scale...)
And I have YOU GUYS!
The biggest difference in the world!!!
from all over the world.
and, if you have the strength to keep reading:
"Can I help you with that, Ma'am?"
So my friend from Canada, Heather, Fuzzy1too changed her status the other day to "has now lost more than her 19mo weighs!"
Which is, in fact, a GIANT WOOOOHOOOO!!!
and I'm really proud of her.
and I commented that I've lost as much as a bag of dog food (34 pounds in 20 weeks).
Do you know, when I buy a bag of that food, they offer to carry it to the car for me? It's too heavy to carry 20 feet to the car, but I had it on me all day everyday without fail or exception? Taking a shower, riding in the car, climbing stairs...
No one ever offered to help me carry by big gut or giant b00bs. (Well, I probably could have gotten someone to help me with THOSE...
but I digress)
What a whack on the side of the head!
I've lost a whole bag of dog-food.
Seems anti-climactic somehow, when you say it like that but WOW! Does that bring it home to me!!!
Have a great day everyone here on the Spark! There's no better place and no better people!
Love to you all...