When I got call from the doctor's office with the news that my MRI came back and it looks like I have a hairline fracture, I was just about ready to fall out in the middle of the floor and cut up like a five-year-old. I want my knee back. I want to get out of the house. I want to exercise. I want. I want. I want.
Let me back up. A few Sundays back I was at the gym. Great workout and to top it off I asked a trainer to toss the medicine ball with me while running. Well, I must have failed to realize I was wearing a capital "C" for clumsy on my chest. We're running and tossing at a good clip and before I jump up and pump my fist like an overly excited athlete, I ran into an immovable, large piece of equipment. The trainer didn't have time to say "Stop"! You realize gym equipment is pretty sturdy, metal stuff. I went down hard. Before I realized where I was and what had happened, I felt the searing pain in my knee. I had a hard time breathing and I couldn't see clearly. Of course, when I could speak, I tried to deny that I was seriously hurt. WRONG. The distressed trainer got me to a chair and asked me to talk and rest until I could go home. He, too, misjudged (wishful thinking; I was doing the same) how bad I banged myself up. I joked a bit despite the growing pain and dizziness. I passed out. When I came to, I was informed I needed to be still and paramedics were en route and so the saga began. Oh joy.
Well, weeks later, my knee still has not healed as much as my doctor thought it should. He sent me to see the surgeon because of the amount of fluid still on my knee. Considering the over-sized cantaloupe I had had for a knee, I thought the progress was good. At this point you could see I actually had a knee. Early on you could not touch my leg. I have never had pain like that and I've given birth to two children. The sharp pains and spasms I intermittently experience are the lesser of the evils.
I'm stressed because let's keep it real, I need to work. I have things to do and you can't do much when you can't walk without a walker and your wearing a hot, itchy brace. My recovery began with wearing a brace from ankle to thigh, to brace and walker and a brief stint with a cane which I mistakenly assumed meant, "I'll be free soon," to being told "There appears to be a fracture. See you on Friday. Please no weight-bearing and use your walker." She wanted me to use crutches but I wasn't prescribed any. I wouldn't have the walker if I didn't have an aunt who loaned me hers. ((sigh))
I won't detail the stress and anxiety I experienced completing paperwork for insurance and short-term disability. I won't whine about what insurance will actually cover or how long you have to wait to get an appointment and then time you sit while waiting to be seen and then feeling rushed and not having all your questions answered.
Well, I saw the doctor last Friday. There is a meniscus tear. Don't know how bad. What was puzzling was the shape of my knee. Can't put up an illustration and I'll botch trying to explain what the doctor told me so let me say my knee is oddly shaped and there is a break. After asking a lot of questions and my doctor drawing me images to explain, we decided to go with the surgery. I'm hoping for the most favorable odds and that I'll recover in a few weeks.
Yes, I know I need to take it easy but like most of us, I have to work. My disability income is straining an already tight budget. And I'll confess I am prone to worry even with the best efforts to be positive. My family is concerned about my health and I'm concerned about the rent. Being homebound and injured is anything but a vacation.
Wednesday I have surgery. I've only had a c-section so I am little worried about being under but my family will be there so I'll take a deep breath, pray and trust God this is going to be okay.
If anyone can share what I can expect after the surgery, I'd love to hear from you. I realize I won't be exercising for awhile but I'd like to know how the transition was for you.