Monday, July 12, 2010
When I feel like I actually can contribute a nugget of insight I try to come here and type. Sometimes, I just come here to self-medicate my brain and RaNt. I'm entitled...
Derailing a train usually means it jumps the track where it's wheels are gliding. There are no locks on these wheels, but they rest precariously on top of metal tracks that guide their travel. Ah.. so am I.
Occasionally I get some bug up my rump about "time". To do this or that before "so-n-so" happens or gets here. Why?
I think mostly it's about accomplishing an unseen mental goal of some sort. At times I don't even know it is represented in my attitude or actions, but it's lingering under the surface. It was weird when I realized that this week. Maybe it's because we wake up with alarms, go to bed with the clock and have to time almost every aspect of our lives... And there it is... That nagging "HURRY UP" mode just bubbling, churning, mandating some action; unseen but very alive. Then there's the Calendar, ever looming as some foreboding timekeeper.
Goals? Yes, I have goals, but they are no longer dictated by a Calendar or Clock!
* To live a life longer than I would have had I stayed on the same track I was on
* Get up without aching all over my body
* To stop feeling like the area below my knees on the floor is "The Abyss"
* Sweating my rump off means I'm actually working out
* Feel like doing things
* Look at a dress and think, "Hey, that would look nice on me"
* Not have to find my clothes in the Back of a Store. (Why Store Owners?)
* Actually use the clothes I've been hanging onto (few but, they are there)
* Stand closer to the dishes without reaching over
* Enjoy my kids and grandchildren more
If my goals are mandated by a time element, I think I will omit them from now on. Lifestyle changes are not overnight nor are they going to be temporary, so I may as well sit back enjoy the ride and stop looking at my clock eh? :)