I am SO DONE
Sunday, July 11, 2010
I just got my labs back. They weren't horrible but they certainly opened my eyes. I'm 283 lbs (was 305 two months ago) and why did I think that my labs would all be normal? What denial class did I attend that told me that being obese didn't mean I was unhealthy? Glucose tells me (as did my doc) that I am pre-diabetic. Don't want to go down that road if I can help it. Total chol was 204. Although my LDH was in the acceptable range my HDL was a little low. I eat fish a couple times a week and I'm not ,and never have been, a sweet eater. SALTY and CRUCHY. That is what I crave. I am SO done with worrying about what I'm not allowed to eat. My lab work has opened my eyes to what I'm really doing to my insides. I can't be concerned with what others think of what and how I'm eating and that I'm not eating what they are. My family doesn't eat unhealthy but I don't eat the potatoes and dinners rolls anymore. Small portion of protein and veggies. And no more eating at 8-9 pm. I eat at or before 6pm. My hubby gets home late and he says it's too hot to eat any earlier than 9. (we live in Ga) As quilty as I have felt not eating dinner all together I have to do this for me. If he wants to eat as a family ( we have always sat down at the table together) then he needs to eat earlier. THAT is the biggest hurdle I have had to jump and it's not an easy one. But, I AM SO DONE with feeling guilty about taking care of myself. My eyes are wide open now and I will not let anyone,including me, put the blinders back on.