Thursday, July 08, 2010
Making bad food choices wasn’t my only issue; I historically made bad choices when it came to relationships. I seemed to gravitate towards men with “issues”. Of course, no matter how long these relationships lasted (or didn’t last); they were obviously just as unhealthy for me as the bad food choices I was making. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I chose these relationships so that I could focus on their issues and avoid mine. Typically, this made my problems worse, as my self-esteem plummeted and my weight soared.
It has been one year since the last relationship I was in ended; I haven’t even been out a on a date since. This certainly isn’t by choice; I simply have not been afforded the opportunity. It is much harder the older you get and being almost 50, there is less and less of opportunity out there. But as I make better choices with food and my spare time, I know that this knowledge will carry over with other things in my life. I work each day to make myself stronger, both physically and mentally. Some days this is quite easy; other days it is a lonely struggle. I would love to have someone to share my new life with; but each day I face this rebuilding of me as a single person, I become a better person for that relationship that I hope is out there for me.