Thursday, July 08, 2010
I'm not sure if it is a "40 something" kind of season but it is hard to prioritize right now. My Dad has terminal cancer and his time is short, my 17 year old is stretching his wings. I have a boss who is not qualified to do his job and does not recognize those who are trying to cover his backside.
In January last year I went from running a large organization to being in the shadows (no demotion just not being utilized). I decided it would be a great time to invest in myself. I have given myself 18 month to loose weight and be fit. I have done well but with everything going on right now it is hard to focus. There are not enough hours in a day to do everything I need to. I'm sure my wonderful Husband feels like he is not anywhere on my priority list. My faith in God gets me through most of the time but I constantly feel like I can't do enough.
When I struggle in life I have tried to evaluate what God wants me to learn from this situation. The pain of loosing my Dad is so overwhelming and there is nothing I can do, I'm so sad. How do I get through this season? My 17 year old is challenging me and I only want the best for him, I see him making choices that will make life harder. How do I get through this season? Work... I'm thankful for having a job right now.
This was to be a season for myself. I struggle between being selfish and focusing on me vs owning the burdens I can not control. When does this season end?