Wednesday, July 07, 2010
I have a hard time blogging when I do not have a lot of positive things to write about. I mean, after all – who wants to read about negativity and hard times…right?
But…my daughter Rebecka – wants a blog, so here it is.
The last few weeks have been really tough. Once again, I see the man I love with all my heart taking a turn for the worse. His addiction is getting the best of him – and he seems more in denial about it than he ever was.
It has gotten so bad – that I told him that I was leaving. I am at my wits end!!! It is so hard to sit and watch someone who at one time was so healthy, so active, and happy…decay away into a pain ridden shell of a man. It leaves you feeling sad, overwhelmed and helpless.
I also felt like – if I leave…where will I go??? I have no place to go!!!
In my desperation – I status’d my facebook page as “I need a place to live – ASAP”…and I was inundated by offers of places to stay…so much so – that I had to remove the status.
Sometimes when you feel most alone…your friends are there…you just can’t see them…but they ARE there. I realized this in a BIG way!!! I am so fortunate to have such amazing friends.
I did however decide to stay. I love him and I can not leave at this point. I need to stop running from my problems – I need to gather the strength I need – and face this addiction monster head on – and fight to get the husband that I fell head over heels in love with back.
On the upside – I have lost about 12 lbs…I am really happy about that.
So there ya have it Rebecka!!! Your turn.