Tuesday, July 06, 2010
A very wise runner once said, "Picture the finish line at the start of the race." I remind my daughter of this before every single race and it seems to help her. I was really thinking about it yesterday while I was working out. I went from picturing the end of my workout to seeing the end of my journey here on Spark. It scared me a little.
I asked myself,
What will be different about your life?
What do you see yourself doing?
Why are you doing this?
As questions continued to pop into my head, I realized that I need to get real answers to these questions if I'm going to be successful and stay successful. I've gotten close to other weight loss goals only to feel left down toward the end. I'd think to myself, I've been doing this for a year and I'm still considered over-weight, are you kidding me? When can I stop measuring and counting? Why aren't I viewed as a healthy person yet? When will I be done?
So, I spent the better part of the day playing Oprah Winfrey with myself! Here's how it went:
O: So, how did you use visualization to lose 100 pounds?
S: I always pictured myself crossing a finish line with my arms raised high in the air celebrating. I think it drove me forward to a time when I could be metaphorically finished.
O: Interesting, metaphorically finished. What does that mean to YOU?
S: For me, finished meant losing 100 pounds, incorporating running into my workout routine, and raising my calories to a comfortable level that meant I wasn't gaining or losing anymore.
My goal has always been to be viewed by others as a healthy person. I'd love people to look at me and think, "that's what healthy is".
O: Did you get that everyone? 'what healthy is'. I think it's important for us all to really think about that. Is your life different than it was?
S: Not really, no. Obviously my eating and exercise habits are very different . But, I still have occasional money problems, I still have 3 teenagers, I still have all the same stresses I used to have. The main difference is in how I cope with them. Also, I'm more social and active than I was. I run with the kids, I bike with my husband, I'm not worried about fitting on the rides and such. I can go to parties without feeling like the world is watching what I eat.
O: Was that an issue before?
S: Absolutely. I now realize I thought way too much of myself before hand. I'm just not that special to have people watching me all the time! I just felt awkward being the biggest gal in the room. I think that's totally normal by the way. Anyone who's been obese shares that feeling. You feel like you can't get caught with any "bad" foods. Of course, I now know there are no bad foods. I just have to be careful not to eat too many of them at once! But, you must know what I mean Oprah.
O: Well, yes, I have had that feeling on occasion. But, you have to get it, you know? I got it, my thyroid was just acting up. Ask Bob if you don't believe me.
S: Oprah, chill. Focus on me. This is my fantasy interview not a therapy session with Dr. Phil
O: Oh, I love him but okay back to you. What were your reasons for doing this?
S: I had many and they changed throughout the process. My kids were number one. I just couldn't bear them losing a parent OR growing up to have the same issues I have with weight. Did you know that 75% of all kids raised by an overweight parent become overweight themselves? That really scared me. Then there was my husband. He lost his mom when she was 48 to a heart attack. She was overweight herself. I couldn't do that to him again.
I think it was a midlife thing to. I was forty, I needed something for me. I also enjoyed the challenge of it all. Of course getting healthy was a big motivator, too.
O: Thanks for joining us today. You gave us all some things to think about.
I guess what I discovered was that this is a lifetime thing. I can't view it as temporary. There isn't a stopping point. There ARE many reasons to keep going and the list of things I'm doing this for will continue to change as the time and my mind does.
Thanks for your help, O!!