Funny Feeling

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Yesterday I rejected a family party, an invitation to get together with friends and I just wanted to be alone. I had a real hard time over the past 9 months and I'm about to take my mom on a journey to meet relatives we never knew we had. My grandmother left her wealthy family at age 20. She ran off with the hired man, my grandfather, who gave her 6 children. Grandma was fond of saying "You made your bed, now lie in it." My grandfather abused his children terribly and a family pattern took hold among the women who endured it.

Today I'm reflecting on the path that has been laid a generation ago. I've come a long way from the pattern that set in our family by one woman's mistakes and misfortunes. I will go "back home" so to speak for my mother and my grandmother by meeting the open arms of many people who have wanted to know, since the 1940's, whatever became of Lea Lambert?

Sometimes I don't feel as if my life is my own but in this case I feel as if I must answer the call again and go where "he sends me". I'm feeling rather melancholic about it all and have little will to live out of a suitcase for another month. I know I have a choice and I am choosing to make this journey. I pray I will go off and come home safe and that when I do return that I can stay home for a long while. I'll do my best to stay connected to my Spark friends during this time away in Canada and I definitely am asking for everyone's prayers and thoughts from July 9th-August 9th.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}

    I just found your blog from your post on Catholic Critters... and even more than wondering how your trip went, I'd like to offer you a book by Francine Rivers (she is the very best women's Christian writer I have ever read): 'Her mother's Hope' Marta's Legacy, Part 1. It's actually based on Francine's own personal history, and I think it may speak to you. I also recommend her book 'Redeeming Love... this book has changed my life, and the lives of everyone to whom I've given it to read.

    As for the challenge, I suspect that someone else may join late, but regardless I will be praying for you and checking in on you! Let me know in some way how I can best do that!

    May today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May the grace of God simply "overtake" you moment by moment. May the joy and victory of the risen Lord be yours in a very personal way... may you always be overwhelmed by the grace of God, rather than by the cares of life!

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    2730 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/4/2010 7:52:20 PM
    emoticon My prayers have been with you. Welcome back home. Keep smiling sunshine. emoticon
    2756 days ago
    A journey back in time...may you discover more about yourself as you travel. emoticon
    2756 days ago
    Will be praying for you during this trip. I can definitely see why you'd be a bit anxious about it all, but I like the idea above about photographs and journals and staying open to the possiblity of a great experience coming out of this!
    2792 days ago
    Dont limit the chance to have a great experience. I know this will be a challenge. Try to think of it as a learning experience. Take pictures and keep a journal to write about your journey. I cant wait to hear about it when you get back. Ill be thinking of you! emoticon
    2792 days ago
    Wow. I can feel that this is a terrible trial for you. I'm praying for a productive and positively life-changing exeperience for all involved. Trust in God and His grace and mercy. He may have some gifts He's been wanting to give you and this is how it's going to happen!
    2792 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.