Saturday, July 03, 2010
I don't know what to blog about but wanted to check in to affirm that I am still here. Words will come so I'm just going to write some. I'm still trying to stay on a healthy path and to be consistent. When I was a child, one of my teachers commented to me that one day I was neat and tidy and the next day I was a mess - my hair and clothes and attitude. I remain inconsistent. I do have stellar work attendance, regardless of hair and some behaviors! I think I'm finally understanding that I have a great deal of anxiety but also a great deal of drive. The drive causes me to show up and perform, the anxiety causes me to make my fingers bleed, chatter and behave mindlessly. Steps I'm taking - less caffeine. Having multiple sclerosis I am prescribed medications for MS fatigue. They elevate the anxiety over the top so I no longer take them but I have used caffeine consistently. I am down to one cup of coffee in the morning. I tend to stay up late and then fail to get up early for a workout. I am normally not productive late at night so it is time wasted. The best time of day for me to work out is FIRST thing in the morning before going to work. My goal this week is to start getting to bed earlier and getting up earlier every day. Several weeks ago it was to stop casually drinking alcohol and to cut down the caffeine. Last week I started drinking more water. This week I will deal with the bedtime issue which will improve exercise consistency. That one will take some serious effort. All of these things are things I have previously accomplished - but I lack consistency. I'm going to post a list on my home computer, where I go every day, to remind myself of my commitments- to make the list a meditation of consistency. Perhaps I'll make small cards of the list and put it in my pocket in the morning so that I might find it during the day, reminding me when anxiety strikes who I really am. Perhaps I'll even find an online messaging system for such things. What is funny is that it is really what a Spark Streak is all about - consistency. I just need the streak to work somewhat backwards - instead of logging that I DID it. I need a support to DO it, a SparkMinder? SparkGuy, do you have a tool for me?!