Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Yesterday was deliberate extra airport walking as exercise. Did a fair bit of it though not like when I was playing tourist last week.
Today, ran some errands and just did "Barefoot Cardio" for the first time. I like it and even though it's not high intensity high impact cardio, I'm definitely feeling it and ran out of gas prior to the end of the 45 minutes. It's probably very good for where I am now in terms of relative fitness.
I found I was struggling a little with what would happen when I stepped on the scale here. Would I find that the altered exercise patterns and the slightly erratic eating resulted in significant weight gain? If so, would I take that message as failure?? Or would the opposite happen, the weight loss continue and I take that as license? Frankly neither one of those scenarios is where I want to be on this journey.
I really want weight to be one measure of feedback on this overall quest for health and wellness. I want to be doing the best I can in any given situation and know that best is definitely a sliding scale. Even in the same situations it can vary in different instances because situations that appear the same, may not be so at heart.
I think I'm mostly doing that. I indulged in some chocolate yesterday, but I decided if I was going to have some, it should be quality and it should be deliberate. Here's the difference. In the past I would have bought something like 3 king size packs of reeses (or maybe 3 different bars) tried to convince the retailer that I was buying for others as well and then snuck to three different places in the airport to eat them so nobody saw the fat woman (me!) stuffing her face. The act would have been filled with shame. This is one of the things I am determined is to be different. Eating is not inherently shameful. Even eating to excess is not inherently shameful. That way truly lies madness. This time I looked at something I couldn't purchase at home that looked attractive to me, and decided to walk a little more and then purchase one of it to eat in the while I waited to board. I enjoyed it and when it was gone really felt it was enough. In fact, it was more than enough, but I'm not at that place yet. Maybe someday.
Now I need to shower and repack. This trip is longer with more varied weather. I also bought a nifty little case to pack my exercise dvds into so they take up little space.
Tomorrow may be an airport walking day. I'm not sure. We need to be at the airport at 4 am and I don't know what I'll be up to. If not, maybe a beach walk in the evening when we get to Vancouver. I'm starting to feel faith that one way or another I will exercise in some way.