Wednesday, June 23, 2010
This is a rant… It will meander… Did I spell that right!?
I slipped twice this week!! TWICE!!! That's how many times I've slipped this entire freeking program before this week.
Okay, so 1. I'm PMSing. 2. School is getting stressful 3. I've got a long long long way to go 4. I'm tired of this program.
So, yeah I've got reasons a-plenty to slip but I have always been able to manage them before. "Not this hour" I would tell my craving for Dunkin Donuts. "I don't think I want to make that decision today" I would say when I really wanted that Hostess cupcake. "Hmmmm ... that's not really what I want..." would be my reply to the desire to reach into the work candy jar. So, I could handle it all and I could do it with grace and feel a sense of accomplishment that I did something.
So, what changed. Well, my "meal plan" changed - instead of being on the complete liquid diet, I started eating stuff. And as much as that's a good thing, it's also making things terribly difficult. If anyone knows anything about Kitosis then you might know it's a wonderful state to be in when you're losing weight. You don't really have any desires or cravings. I want that right now.
Here's what I know about life:
I'm going to be doing this forever - Okay, so maybe not the "living on 1000 calories" thing, but this "watching what I eat" thing.
Here’s what I believe:
It gets easier. I’m not interested in being a size 8 or even a size 10. But once I get to my goal, the idea is to never go above size 16 again. I think that’s reasonable, it’s definitely do-able. And I enjoy doing the exercising I am doing – stationary biking in the morning, walking @ work on lunch. I’ve even got a bike coming into Walmart that I’m going to start riding with my husband.
So, the moral of this rant is: I am not a failure for going on Full Fast. The good thing is that I am realizing it now instead of waiting until I seriously damage my morale. I am learning – if I were still on the last diet I tried, by now I would have just given up.