Self Doubt and Realization
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Funny how ones brain works and the tricks and trials it takes to stay on track and keep motivated. I struggle etch day, and give myself pep talks, and stern talking to's. I was doing really good at being health and exercising until last Friday. Week 7 day 3, the run did not go as planned. I had to stop early for the first time and i felt so defeated by this. I didn't consider the fact that I had at least done the majority of it and the fact that 7 weeks ago I couldn't have done it at all... Friday our company arrived and my husbands 40th birthday... I went to town literally, drinks, food, and more.... Come Sunday night I felt like CRAP!!!! I was mad at myself and beating myself up... Then it occurred to me I have to stop this all or nothing thinking, I have a bad habit of doing this. Whether it be getting to a certain point on the scale and falling off track and gaining it all back, or starting an exercise program and then for whatever reason stopping. I had to force myself to lace up my runners today... I didn't want to... I was in why bother mode... but I did something different... I just pushed and did it, I ran the whole way, and could not be prouder... it is like a small victory...take that doubting self... I am not going to be swayed or detoured or slide back, I am going to keep going, and I am going to get there, slowly but surely, with lots of bumps and slides and holes in the road... this time I am aware and prepared. When I run, I have to play head games to keep on going, but most of all I am learning to just let go and get out of my head for a bit, lost in happy daydreams... Daydreams of those skinny jeans in the bottom of my closet that is..Spark people is a huge part of this and the community and support that exists within it. Run on everyone, and to those that are thinking you can't, think again!!!!!! .