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    OIL_FIELD_WIFE   4,594
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Breast Cancer

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My cousin just found out she has beast cancer. She is in the advanced stages, and the doctors are disagreeing about whether to do surgery or start chemo because it is so out of control. As they argue, she sits screaming "I don't have TIME for this!!! DO SOMETHING!!!" I am so sad, and upset I can't express myself. I have gone into 'strong melissa' mode - a place I always end up during a crisis - forced to be this person since I was a child I am taking over the non-emotional stuff as I always do when tradgedy strikes, I am good at it, and it is almost instinct for me. I am currently on a mission to raise as much money as I can for her and her family - I am on a mission to find out what we can do in other legal area's that I cannot talk about at this time... It's hard being the strong 'unemotional' one (as I have been refered to). I worry that I will come across as cold, and unfeeling - On the other hand when I talked to her today and told her what I had started doing for her and her kids she began to cry and said "I hadn't thought of that, I didn't even realize...." I told her she needs to focus on her, and getting through this - leave the rest to me... It's then I understand why I am the way I am, and why I am needed to be the way I am. I still wish I could do more, and I know this is just the beginning. I've been in simalar situations before, but this is going to be the hardest. I've never had to take on what I am going to be doing, and the worst part of it is she is younger then me. I am being ripped apart inside thinking about a girl, younger then me, that I love, going through this. Next month, she will be 27. 27 Freaking years old!!!!! She has 3 little kids, beautiful kids...
I've done this for my uncle, I did this for my OTHER uncle, I've done this for my Aunt who I love and am thankful she is still alive even in stage 4 metasticised colon cancer.... I've watched my parents fight skin cancer, melanoma, benign lumps.... My father had a heart attack last Oct, my mom has diabetes... I can keep going....

The difference is age... I don't think it's better that they are older but it is easier for me for some reason. I have been so close to my cousin. She is 2 years younger then me. We have always been close. I feel bad that over the last few years we have lost touch due to having our families, and living a few hours from each other, but we still hold a close bond. I love her so much and this is going to be the toughest thing we have gone through. Luckily she is strong. She is tough and her family means more to her than anything. She is going to fight this, and we are going to get through this. No matter what it takes!!!!!!
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SISTERDOE 6/22/2010 9:03PM

    I'm so glad that you are there for your cousin and "take charge" so to speak. Many people don't realize what a gift it is to be able to detach emotionally from a situation so you're able to think clearly. I understand it because although I am such an emotional wreck over my own "stuff" I can be such a strong and creatively-thinking support person for someone else.

I'll be prayng for your cousin!

Gentle hugs,
Dotti
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MORTICIAADDAMS 6/22/2010 8:51PM

    My prayers are with you and your cousin and family. I lost my cousin so I hope things work out for you.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 6/22/2010 8:51PM

    My prayers are with you and your cousin and family. I lost my cousin so I hope things work out for you.

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QUILTINGB52 6/22/2010 4:05AM

    Hugs to you, your cousin & her family!! You will all be tucked safely in my thoughts & prayers.

My mom in a 24 year survivor of Breast Cancer, so I know a bit about what you are struggling with.

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HICKOK-HALEY 6/22/2010 3:11AM

    That is young. I feel for her, and her family. I send you lots of hugs. You are a good soul. She is so lucky to have you!!
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