Today, my self esteem was shaken up quite a bit.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
So this past week has been going really well for me. I had a bit of a cold so my appetite was not what it normally is. As I recovered from said cold, I decided maybe I would really start listening to my hunger and hear what it has to say. Well, I figured out, I must be over eating by a lot. Small meals, no seconds, no snacks all week. I haven't eaten out of boredom, or just because it was time to eat. I eat based only on what my hunger and appetite are telling me. The result: I lost three pounds this week! At first I was thinking, maybe it was water weight, or just a freak mishap on the scale. But three days in a row, my weight has been consistent at 160ish. So I felt like today should be the day I post it.
Well, 3 pounds lighter, and I had no problem stepping out in a two piece bathing suit on the beach today. It is all about self confidence anyways. My husband and I stopped and picked up some sandwiches and headed to the beach to have a little picnic in the sun. We picked our spot and started chowing down. No sooner do we get comfortable, and suddenly two guys decide to start tossing a football right by us. Now if they had decided to walk say 20 feet further down the beach, they wouldn't have been disturbing ANYONE. But no, they wanted to play their game right where we were. Whatever. A few minutes later, the ball comes soaring into us. I don't say anything, and they don't apologize. Whatever. A few more minutes pass, and it happens again - this time actually hitting my husband. I look at one of the guys and say, "Really? You don't think you could move down the beach a little bit?" He tells me to relax and it was an accident. Whatever. They stop playing for a little bit and go back to their towels which happened to be fairly close to ours. At this point I am lying down, soaking in the sun and relaxing, totally forgot about the guys. Suddenly I hear another guy join the group.
"Are we gonna play football"
"No, the chubby girl over there doesn't want us to."
Yeah - the chubby girl. I was referred to as the chubby girl.
I sat there for a few minutes, before I rolled over and told my husband I wanted to go somewhere else. We ended up walking about a quarter mile down the beach away from those A-holes.
When I told my husband what happened (he had been zoned out, reading a book, oblivious to what they were saying) he assured me I was beautiful, that the guys were [insert expletives here] and not to let them get to me. Then he asked if he should go punch them haha. While that would have been nice, I don't know what it would have accomplished.
But needless to say, my confidence was rocked. I went from feeling great to suddenly wanting to hide behind my towel. I know that guy was just being a jerk, but still - at what point is it okay for ANYONE to make negative comments on someones weight. Whether it be to their face or behind their back - why do people think it is okay?
So I know I will recover from this, but it is just amazing how insensitive people can be. I guess I've been spoiled by all my fellow sparkers, because obviously this guy hasn't got a clue.