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When she was good she was very very good but when she was bad she was horrid...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

So I fell off the wagon as it were last week. It was disappointing to say the least. I got sick and exercise kinda went out the window and then eating followed closely thereafter. I don't know why those two things are so intertwined but if I am not exercising I tend to not eat well either.
But by not eat well I really mean eat horribly. I seem to only do extremes. I am either eating healthy and making good choices or I am making really really bad choices. Binge eating style choices (ie- and I am ashamed to admit this- whole frozen pizzas for dinner plus ice cream, chocolate and cheese bread style choices). I don't know why I do it. It doesn't make me feel good. I wake up feeling gross, guilty and out of control which sets me up for another day of bad choices. Its a vicious cycle.
Sparkpeople has helped me to limit these sort of binges but they still happen and they leave me depressed and not progressing in my weight loss.
The worst thing is that as I am about to make the choice I think- "this is stupid and you will regret it" and then I go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't really know how to stop these from happening.
Any suggestions?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think you need to dig deep and ask yourself why you are doing it. Why do you self sabotage? There are some articles on spark that you can look at to help identify the feelings associated with this. As I lost more and more weight old memories would surface for me. It was like peeling an onion. As the layers came off and I was confronted by old memories and the feelings they involked I had to face those feelings. Once I faced those feelings the weight would also come off. You have to stop the behavior and the best way to do that is to determine why you are doing it. Journaling is a big help. Join some sparkteams to help you get in touch with those feelings.
    We all go through this. i think it is part of the process. Hang in there. I think this website is awesome and you will find the answers you need if you search around. Hope some of this helps. Are you doing any of the fast track goals on the start page? They can help keep you centered. Make some goals that are easy to reach and aren't going to derail your efforts. You are worth it! I know you can do it!
    2682 days ago
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