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    LIFEGENESIS   14,912
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An END and a BEGINNING

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Trying
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNWINS 6/13/2010 7:45AM

    I totally understand what you are saying. I had my son's graduation party a few weeks ago, and a few people tagged me in pics on FB. I was like, WOW, I look really fat, then I said... I AM FAT! Although Hubby and I laughed I felt awful.
That's why we are doing what we are doing, we are going to change ourselves
Enjoy your day

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NADJAZZ 6/12/2010 11:30PM

    I admire your raw honesty in posting this vlog. I can relate to how you felt when you saw yourself in the mirror. I catch myself doing that, too! Especially when I see myself in a photo. You are doing important work on your inner self as well as the external. I hope you can get to the forgiveness stage soon.

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MESSENE 6/12/2010 6:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHR15A113N 6/12/2010 3:12PM

    Congratulations on doing the class and finishing! I've always wanted to spin but there I'm not sure where there is a gym that does it.

You're inspirational!

Chris

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TRENTDREAMER 6/12/2010 10:12AM

    Love u2.

Congrats on making it to and through the spin class.

I know the frustration of seeing myself for the first time below the neck for real. emoticon . I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

I always leave classes early. I can't do a whole hour of cardio class without paying for it the next day. INstructors understand that we're all at different fitness level

Proud of you for staying strong at both the class and the party.

Hang in there.

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PLUSTODOWNSIZE 6/11/2010 7:27PM

    Don't assume a skinnier person is a healthier person. I know some "smaller" people that has more health issues than me! Don't let the mirror get you down. It is just a mirror; it may reflect what you don't want to see but think how it will feel when you get to a weight you are happier at and look in that mirror. At my gym there are mirrors in the weight room area, not in the cardio area. But each time I go I have to walk by a set of mirrors to check in--and not just those mirrors but "muscle" guys working out as well. Each time I see my reflection it is one of those "ugh" moments but then, like you realized, that is why you are there! Occasionally, I will wear my Sparkpeople T-shirt that says "Fitness in Progress" and then when I see my reflection I chuckled to myself and it brings a smile to my face. I am, we are, Fitness in Progress.



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ONLY1TAN 6/11/2010 11:57AM

    Holy Crap I am so proud of you for going to the class! That is wonderful! I couldn't do spinning!

Sometimes it is good to really see ourselves to keep us focused on why we are doing this!

I think you made a great choice at the party! I am so proud!!

Forgiveness is such a powerful word and feeling. I think it will be a while and hard work to really forgive ourselves. Thinking about it, I don't think I can forgive myself for past damages that put me at 471 until I am closer to my goal! I have learned how to forgive myself for the small mistakes and slip ups I have made throughout this journey!

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MOMMIE2TWOGIRLS 6/11/2010 11:38AM

    You tried something new and that is great. I feel you though with the mirrors when I started going to zumba the mirror seemed to be just focused on me. LOL. After a few classes though, I enjoyed it no matter if there was "smaller" than me. I love it. You are a strong person for passing all that stuff up because I know when the preschool graduated I didn't pass things up. LOL. Your inspire me and thank you for sharing something this personal. emoticon I am glad to call you my friend and I am glad I can go on the road with you. emoticon emoticon

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RINAKING 6/11/2010 11:19AM

    First off I will say great job on resisting all that food and sweets at work yesterday!! That was awesome.

Second, I will say, today I hope you are feeling better about how you felt in class yesterday. I know that going to a new class can feel intimidating when you are the "new kid". On top of that the class was tough and the mirrors were a bit much for you. Just remember that each day that you continue to eat right and exercise that image in the mirror will be changing for the better. I'm sure that lately you feel better than you did when you first started your journey. For me, even though I am no where near where I want to be (weight wise), just knowing that i am moving in the right direction makes me happier and optimistic.

Thanks for sharing your feelings on video and I hope everyone's comments help you to feel better and know that you are not alone.

-Rina

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APATRICIAO521 6/11/2010 11:03AM

    I think you have the right mindset. You know why you are there at the gym taking that spin class. Change is hard and takes time, but it seems like you have the right motiation and determination and that you are on the right track. Remember that you do not know where the other people in the class have come from. You do not know their history, they may have been overweight or even obese themselves at some pount. Look at them as motivation for what you are becoming and how you are changing. Don't look at them with envy and do not let them make you feel inferior and slef-concious. You are making the right desicions and changes in your life. In a few months, who knows, you could be that "fit" girl that someone noticed in a class and win envious of and wants to approach. I say go to the class again and don't give up. Try to talk to that girl that has the same body type as you again. I am sure she will be kind and receptive and love sharing her story with you.


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WEIGHTING4BABY 6/11/2010 7:17AM

    It's true, the lighting in those gyms isn't very forgiving. But I can TOTALLY RELATE!
The image in our minds is so different than the image we see in pictures or the image staring back at us. Maybe our minds are making excuses for us. I know I've been big so long, people that I know don't even say anything about it. So in my mind, I think I look ok. I look good for a fat girl. But then reality hits me and it's like, "No..you're unhealthy."
We have the power to change this! Maybe, go to the spin class that is SUPER EARLY in the morning. You have the advantage since you have summers off. Those other people have to go to work. So go when they're at work. Just a few more times and I bet you'll be lovin it. Oh, and maybe next time the bike will be set up right for you! One of the gyms I belonged to had spin bikes that you could use without attending a class. That could be an option too!
Total admiration for seeing it through!!

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RAVIN382838 6/11/2010 6:00AM

  I really admire you for going to the gym and doing a spin class. I will do some machines at the gym but a spin class really intimidates me. Kudos to you. Use the energy from your "not feel good day" to continue on in the great way you are doing with eating right and exercising. You are doing a great job and I hope you are proud of yourself. Your vlog touched me as we have all been there to one extent or the other. You rock girl!

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SAZZY12 6/11/2010 5:33AM

    AWWWW I too just wanted to hug you !!! I know how it feels I choose a gym purposely that had NO mirrors where you work out, The last Gym I went to had them - Not that you could actually see yourself in them because the guys would all line up and check themselves out in them!
You are doing a Fantastic job! You are choosing to better yourself and your life !!! Just remember that all the hard work will pay off!!!It is hard but you have gotta keep going YOU CAN DO IT! emoticon

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GEKKO1 6/11/2010 1:59AM

    Good for you! You got up and did something; something fantastic!! You faced a fear that most wouldn't even attempt, and that is what separates you from those that wish and those that do!

Let me let you know about the mirrors. They're not there to embarrass or degrade. They're there for yoga classes and other classes to help people focus on their form when performing an exercise. So don't be intimidated by the mirrors. I know they're there in front of your face, but remember, what you see in that mirror, is what you're correcting. So be strong and continue to correct it.

The "thin" people are at the gym so they can hope to remain thin. Yes they're healthier (now) and that's what you're striving to be - healthier! Fortunately, "thinner" is a bonus when becoming healthier.

Keep going to the gym. Showing confidence and having the determination to reach your goal is what gyms are about. It's not about mirrors and thin people; it's about getting healthy. Don't let emotions move you out the door, because truthfully, that's what people are expecting you to do.

You CAN forgive yourself for what you have done, and you can do that now. Now get back on that cycle and ride it until that seat doesn't hurt anymore.

Be inspiration!

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DLSMITH9 6/11/2010 1:14AM

    Omygod, I just wanted to reach through my screen and hug you!! I'm sorry you had such an emotional day, but wow, you dealt with some heavy stuff today, and that will only help you in the future. I can't say I know how you felt in that class, cuz I've never been there, but I understand how hard that must have been. But you completed the class- and believe me, you got a workout. You've been doing so great this week, and you can only do so much at one time. It's going to take time to undo what's happened, but you are making monumental changes. Keep your chin up and remember that you are only human. I am proud of you for having the insight and the guts to change your life.

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THEICEVALKYRIE 6/11/2010 12:58AM

    Awe you seemed really bummed out! Ohhhh...hunny. *hugs*

But you attempted cycling! Go you! I hope you do it again! One day you might be the pro on it!

I know the mirrors might be a bit intimidating but maybe it might encourage you to work out harder. Then you can see the results. And actually the lights in there are horrible, fluorescent lights and they make you look horrible. Its like trying on clothes and seeing yourself in the mirror while you're changing.

Recognize the small achievements! You did well in your choices today! Like someone very famous to me said: One step for man, one large leap for mankind. Make that leap for yourself, one step at a time.

I LOVE YOU!!!

Circe

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EMSSBEARS 6/11/2010 12:29AM

    I know how you feel about the mirrors. I just try not to look at them - not an easy task since they are everywhere. There are a lot of skinny in-shape people at my gym where I go too and at first they irritated me just to look at them, now I feel like I have just as much right to be there as they do and if they don't like it they can leave-lol (OK at least I try to tell myself that - I know what you mean about people being nice - I always assume that they are trying to be condesending - even if that is not their intent). So remember you are there taking positive steps to make yourself a better you - keep on doing what you are and each day will get easier and you will start to feel more comfortable (or at least it won't bother you what others may think)

Thanks so much for sharing this blog - I love your sincerity and your honesty about your feelings - there are so many of us that have had these same feelings and I commend you for helping us all to see that we are not alone with our feelings. You are such an inspiration - again thanks for sharing and keep going - don't let anyone discourage that.

Beth

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STARRSTYLIST 6/11/2010 12:05AM

    Listen BE PROUD that you were there. YOU DID IT! Look at all of the people who WISH they had the courage to go and do what you did today. You can do it and the more you do it, the easier it will be and the smaller you will get. Then one day you will see somebody come into that gym, and know that they feel JUST LIKE YOU DID TODAY. Then YOU can be there for THEM! You WILL BE, just stick to your guns, WE can do this my friend. I'm proud of you and you should be also!

Continue on each day and be the best you can be and then the next day do a little bit better. We will get there...together!

Good luck my friend and know you are loved!

Love & hugs
Teresa

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JISTY06 6/10/2010 11:34PM

    I know exactly how you feel! I cant even muster the courage to go to the gym on base because its lots of fit military people and their tiny wives. Like WHAT!? I feel like the elephant in the room! LOL.
I know what you mean about looking at pictures. I look in the mirror and see myself as pretty thin and good looking and then I see pictures and am horrified.
It'll be okay!
At least you're going. At least you're trying. And one day you can walk in there and say look biotches! I lost weight and look awesome! Be jealous! LOL.
You're doing great. Keep up the amazing work. You are gorgeous!

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