Tuesday, June 08, 2010
When we moved into this new building I was so excited that they have a fitness center. Unfortunately a month later I have not set foot in it. Why? Because I'm scared to death of being laughed at or looked at like "geez, look at fatso". I know this is ridiculous and the odds of people thinking or saying that is small, but I can't get past it. I get nauseous thinking of people watching me. I have walked over there, gotten to the door and just walked past the gym. I know I need to just go in there, but it freaks me out if someone is in there. I have previously been to gyms, I made sure to go to gyms open very early and get there when I could almost be alone, but the whole time I'm there I'm feeling insecure and constantly feel I'm being stared at. The worst part is that I know I'm acting like an idiot. Nobody cares, nobody is watching me, laughing at me. If anything they are prob saying stuff like "good for her".
I wish I could get past this. I can't keep working out alone in my house. I need to get my fat ass into that gym.