Monday, June 07, 2010
Hi fellow Sparkpeople.
Just need to get some things off my chest. I am at a crossroads, with my realtionship that is.
I don't know if I am upset with my boyfriend or myself. He went out of town to take care of this father, but when he came back I didn't see him for 3 days. Now, we talk everyday sometimes 3 and 4 times a day. He didn't come see me and just assumed I was coming over to his house. That's cool and all but it would be nice if he had ome to see me.
Well he did come to see me and I was so upset I couldn't even talk to him. I hardly said 5 sentences. I feel bad because the more I think about it, I am feeling like our relationship is going nowhere. I think we are just at different points in our lives. It hasn't changed much in the past couple of years. I feel he is fine with the way things are. I, however, am not. I do love him and I know he loves me. I just feel uneasy.
I am trying to see his side of things and be as objective as possible. Ah yeah, we all know how easy it is to be objective in your own life. I know. Good luck with that, right. (chuckle)
I am trying to figure out is it him or is it me. This whole selfdiscovery thing is a trip. I don't want project the inadequacies I feel about myself on him and ruin my relationship. I know I need to talk to him.
Oh yeah thats the other thing. CONFRONTATION.....not great with that. Very hard for me, especially my personal life. Work life I'm better. I'm no marshmellow by any means, however I find it very uncomfortable.
I have not eaten up the world over it thus far. Great milestone for me. It is eating at me though. I don't know hy this is so dang hard. I guess I'm afraid of what he may say. I just need to put on my BIG GIRL panties stand tall and have the blasted talk with him.
Thanks as always in advance for reading my blog.