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    JOLLIEBELL   44,257
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Under Pressure

Monday, June 07, 2010

We moved. It was a tremendous project, but now it's done, and here we are.

My mother has cancer. It's small and very aggresive, and she's starting chemo very soon. I can do nothing. I can't even travel to see her or hang with her or anything, thanks to the financial burden of moving.

My brother in law is getting married in 2 weeks. I love his fiancee, and I'm so happy for them, but I'd promised myself I'd lose weight for the wedding, and I have not. I've gained.

These are the big things, but life is full of the smaller stressors that add up, the moments and events that feel as though they're set to knock me down. Big stress and small stresses have led me to where I'm at now, which is (probably) pretty near my starting weight. That's bad, especially considering that I have to attend a family wedding in 2 weeks, a ceremony that both of my boys and my husband will be included in, so you know there are going to be pictures. Bad.

Thankfully, my hormones are in a good place -- today -- so I'm not whipping myself psychologically/ emotionally/ mentally. I'm discouraged, certainly, but I'm hoping that'll be impetus enough to get this show (back) on the road, returning to healthy habits, though it's going to be more difficult now, taking into consideration all of the changes the move has made necessary to my previous routines/ habits. No fitness center, no quick & easy access to Whole Foods, that kind of thing.

Changes need to be made. I suppose that's the bottom line. I hope I don't let myself down even worse.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PKWEBB 6/7/2011 11:14AM

    Don't beat yourself up, love who you are. The world would much rather have a happy, fun , upbeat large you than a grumpy, stressed , skinny you. Make your move a new adventure. Think of the places you'll get to explore on your walk or run that you haven't seen yet. There are probably hidden markets and stands waiting to be discovered. Make the world your gym. Keep at it, we can do it!

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