Saturday, June 05, 2010
Yesterday was amazing. It was just one of those truly awesome days. Last week I celebrated fitting into single digit sized jeans for the first time I can remember. It was really something to fit size 8. But then yesterday I realized that they were TOO BAGGY! I bought a pair of size 6, tried them on and they FIT!!!!! My mind is still coping with the change in my body. When I held them up I thought there was no possible way they would fit me, but they do, they do. All those years of thinking I just couldn't lose weight, all those years of fooling myself about how much I was actually eating and how little I was actually moving. I'd always heard that it was important to keep a food diary and I would tell myself I was too busy and couldn't be bothered.
The awesomeness continued. My husband surprised me with an invitation to a dinner honoring people and programs in our local mental health community. It was inspiring to realize how many dedicated people are out there looking out for those who can't handle life the same way "normal" people can. Outside of a couple of bouts of that black hole of depression, I have not dealt with mental illness myself. However, my sister is diagnosed as bipolar and has been medicated for the past 30 or so years so the issue is close to home. When we aren't dealing with something like that it is so easy to think that someone has control, that all they need is a good dose of self discipline or to "just snap out of it" or "grow up," but it just isn't that simple. Seeing the compassion and understanding and the therapeutic skills these health care professionals and volunteers displayed is a wonderful and humbling experience.
Then I won the raffle prize, a new iPad, which I am using at this moment to write this blog. Now, if that wasn't a great day, I don't know what would be. And that, too, was s humbling experience. I don't have any idea why I should have been so blessed to win this, nor do I have any clue why someone gets schizophrenia and ends up homeless. As one of the speakers put it, it isn't always about choice. Yes, I have chosen to exercise more, to eat a variety of healthy real food, but I am blessed to have the means to buy these foods, the time and place to exercise, a body that is whole and healthy enough to process what I eat and the more I think about it, the more I realize how blessed I am outside of anything I've done. It's a little like the raffle. I chose to buy the tickets, I made the effort to put my name on the tickets, but the rest was out of my control.
Losing weight is a lot more predictable than the raffle, thank Goodness! But it starts with making a choice, then another, then another, being gracious to yourself and to others and being grateful for the innumerable blessings that make it possible. The next step is to do something positive with the blessings we've received, which is why I'm sharing all this today, using my new iPad.