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    CLEMING   4,502
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On the upside...

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

We're still trying to conceive. And we're creeping up on 4 years, now. Recently, my husband bought me a book recently that was suggested by our doctor. "The Fertility Diet" suggests 10 separate diet and lifestyle issues that can be addressed in order to maximize fertility. The introduction states that undertaking just a few can dramatically increase fertility rates in women who are suffering from ovulatory infertility (like me). Adopting 5 or more is ideal.

Right at first, I was elated! 10 new things to try. Things that I could try for free. That would improve my health, and quite possibly encourage my body to ovulate and conceive. What more could I ask for?!

And then, right away, I was SO disappointed. I started reading each step and realized that we were already doing 7 on a regular basis. So much for this being the final step to making that second pink line appear!

Okay, so we're STILL not pregnant. And maybe this book isn't going to be a step forward for us after all. But on the upside, how amazing is it that by adopting the philosophies, tips, tricks, and positive habits promoted by Spark People I had adopted 7 of the authors' suggestions already?

I don't think I can say it enough, but I LOVE Spark People!
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLEMING 6/1/2010 12:50PM

    Dear Ladyraven1963 -

You're either experienced in the pain of infertility and you're understandably bitter, or you've never experienced the pain of infertility and have no background on which to base your comments. I'd like to suggest a visit to the websites for RESOLVE and INCIID. Both are great national organizations dedicated to assisting couples with all areas of the infertility struggle from emotions to finances to finding doctors to understanding treatments.

If you've never dealt with infertility personally, then please take the time to visit
services/for-family--friends/. This is the "friends and family" portion of the Resolve website and deals with infertility etiquette and myths. You obviously have some misconceptions about infertility as a disease and what ways are (and are not) appropriate to approach the subject of infertility with an infertile individual/couple.

If you have dealt with infertility personally and your comments are based on the anxiety, depression, and frustration that come hand in hand with this disease, then these websites could still prove to be a valuable resource. Additionally, you might check into INSPIRE - a website much like SparkPeople that connects individuals with similar health conditions. This is a wonderfully supportive community.

I would suggest seeking out sessions with a support group. Resolve sponsors a number of support groups, although the areas that they reach currently are a bit limited. It might be hard to find one in your area. Even if you've never dealt with infertility personally, I'm sure that any of the women or couples in attendance would appreciate a visit from someone outside the infertile community. The comments like yours that we hear daily are their own form of discrimination. And like any community, those dealing with infertility are generally quite willing to talk to an outsider who wishes to educate themselves about the experiences of the group.

If you've dealt with infertility personally, then a counselor or therapist could be helpful in resolving these issues, but I believe an individual who has been there personally and/or helped other patients heal emotionally would be the most valuable to you.

Lastly, I could have simply deleted your post and gone on with my day. I'm on vacation, after all! And this is certainly not the only offensive comment that's ever been made to me or my spouse regarding our infertility. But hopefully this will serve a greater purpose.

Sorry so harsh, but it's life.


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LADYRAVEN1963 6/1/2010 12:40AM

    Here's a suggestion: quit trying so hard to conceive.

See, if you quit trying so hard, it may happen. But then again, it may not...

You need to stop and live for NOW, not the 'possible baby' that may not happen... You're wasting too much time in the now, and it's time you won't ever get back.

When the time is 'right' (IF it ever is) you will become pregnant....

Sorry so harsh, but it's Life, and if you're not to have a baby or get pregnant at all, then it's not meant to be.

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